Return to Me
by Kadi219
Summary: Raydor/Flynn - Sometimes an unexpected tragedy can threaten to break us. Other times, it brings us closer together. Possible Season 3 Spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

Return to Me

by Kadi

Rated T

Disclaimer: If only they were mine… Sadly, they are not. I'm only borrowing them for a time, I promise to return them!

**A/N:** Special thanks again to **deenikn8** for the beta. Also, much love for **lontanissima **for all the help and encouragement! I will also not forget **kate04us** who is an awesome partner in crime, the Provenza to my Flynn! Thanks hon!

**Chapter 1 - Incomprehensible **

Time. That was the enemy. It ticked by, never yielding, never pausing. It gave no care of needs or wants. It paid no mind to age. It provided more life behind than in front of her. It was the one thing in her life that she could not find any means of control over. She could not stand in its path. Even at her most resolute it would fly right past her.

She did not dwell on those things that she could not change. Age was simply a factor of life. Although she had never felt it more keenly than she did at that moment.

Her body ached with it. She was weary. It went bone deep. She felt the creak and strain of bone and muscle as she walked through her apartment. The couch had looked far too inviting and it was only the hand at her back that kept her moving. As she entered her room, she thought she might like to sink onto the bed, to lie perfectly still and let the day fall away. The only problem existed when she closed her eyes. The day remained with her.

Soft pressure against her back prodded her forward again. Sharon moved silently into the bathroom. Her eyes found a spot on the floor, and she wondered idly at when the rug in front of her tub had started to fray, and how she had not noticed that before. It was such an odd thing to focus on, and yet so very curious to her that she was oblivious to it. She always insisted upon the apartment being orderly, these, her own private rooms were no different. A place for everything and everything in its place.

She continued to consider that, even when the blazer which was hanging dirty and stained from her shoulders was removed. It was dropped to the floor, and those same hands reached for the buttons of her blouse. She stood silent and unmoving as each one was opened. The blouse felt stiff and uncomfortable. She would be glad to be rid of it. There would be no salvaging it, and that was such a shame. She always liked the purple best.

Her eyes lifted slowly to the familiar blue gaze staring down at her. Sharon didn't know what she expected to find there as he swept the blouse from her shoulders. She thought it odd. She hadn't let this man touch her in more than ten years. He had tried. Oh yes, he always tried. Odd that she would allow it now, when there was nothing but concern and sympathy in his gaze. Or perhaps it was simply that she didn't have the strength to stop him, and it was a physical weakness, not an emotional one. She watched him, her eyes dropping when he stooped in front of her to slide her heels off her feet. His knees creaked and popped and she thought, with some amount of satisfaction and mild detachment, she was not the only one aging. When he stood again it was to work open her belt and slide the skirt down her legs.

Sharon shivered in the coolness of the room. He reached beyond her, into the shower, and turned the tap on. Soon steam was filling the space. When his eyes moved back to her and he found she hadn't moved, his arms slipped around so that his hands found the clasp of her bra. The same reason her blouse was ruined had spread through to the scrap of satin and lace. It too would be going into the trash. What struck her more was that his eyes didn't fall beyond her face. He could have looked, and there would have been a time when he would have.

His hands moved to her hips to slide away the matching underwear, and upon realizing he was touching her as little as possible, moisture stung her eyes. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and she was reminded with a rush of emotion so strong that it drew a ragged sigh from her, just why she had once loved this man. There had been a reason that she once wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. A reason she had held on and hoped and waited, even long after he left her. She had eventually stopped waiting. She stopped hoping. She stopped loving. She cared for him, there was a part of her that always would.

She had once thought that in their dotage, they would have what they had missed in their youth. That they would find solace in raising their grandchildren together, even if he had left her to raise their children alone. Those thoughts were long gone, along with any intention she might have had to holding on to this marriage which became more of a safety net, a barrier between herself and further hurt.

Sharon had always felt just as much to blame in its failure that she would never call it to an end for herself. No, she held on to her failure. She held on to her regret. She did not find reason enough to let it go until Rusty came in to her life.

She wanted to adopt him. She would not do that while married to Jack. She wanted to move on. She couldn't truly do that while living in the past.

Ultimately, that was what had brought Jack back to Los Angeles. He was beckoned to her by the divorce papers she filed. He wanted to talk her out of it, to reason with her. His reasons were always filled with empty promises and even emptier hopes. This time, Sharon would not be budged. This marriage was ending.

Yet, here he stood.

Emotion swept through her. So much had changed. She was left staggered. Never had she felt more conflicted, more confused. It would pass, some small part of her intellectual mind that was still working understood that. When the shock, worry, and grief of the day had gone, she would no longer feel so torn. If there was one thing pressing through the numbness and shock she felt, it was that. It was the confusion at her current emotions.

Sharon rose onto the balls of her feet and tipped her face up. He was warm and he was solid, and although she had spent her entire adult life married to this man, kissing him felt foreign.

His hands cupped her jaw. Jackson drew back and shook his head slowly. His eyes were sad. There was a time he would have accepted exactly what she was offering, and without regret or thought. His thumbs stroked her cheeks and he sighed quietly. "No," he said softly, and with some difficulty. In a voice that was low, thick with emotion and his own regret, he admitted what he had hoped to never acknowledge. "Honey, it isn't me that you want." He had hurt her, far too many times to count over the years. Jack couldn't recall exactly how many times he watched her eyes fill with pain, how often had she swallowed it back and grown stoic instead. Then there had come the coldness, an indifference she didn't truly feel but wrapped herself in like a shield. He knew, only too well, what it was to see Sharon ache. Until that moment, he had never watched her break.

Jack watched her shatter. Her eyes dropped and it shuddered through her. From beneath closed lids, a single drop of moisture appeared and rolled down the curve of her cheek. He drew her forward and his arms slipped around her shaking form. She didn't want him. That was hard enough to accept. No, she wanted the man whose blood stained her clothes. She wanted the man over whom she had knelt, hands shaking as she tried to stem the flow of blood. She wanted the man who lay across town in Intensive Care with two bullet holes and a life that was slowly slipping away. She wanted the man that she loved, and that wasn't him anymore.

He held her until the shaking stopped. When she drew away from him, Jack moved behind her. He prodded her toward the shower. "Get cleaned up," he told her. "I'll get rid of all this." Her head tilted in acknowledgement, but she said nothing. Jack stooped and gathered the ruined clothing. Into the trash it would go. Even if it could be salvaged, he knew that she would not want a reminder of this day.


	2. Chapter 2

Return to Me

by Kadi

Rated T

Disclaimer: If only they were mine… Sadly, they are not. I'm only borrowing them for a time, I promise to return them!

**Chapter 2 - Back to the beginning**

"Donald Thompson," the sergeant stated. "Former LAPD, put away ten years ago on a manslaughter charge after he was found negligent in the shooting death of a suspect in an armed robbery case. It was found that Thompson fired on the young man and he was not armed, as Thompson claimed. Also, lab tests later showed that Thompson was high on cocaine at the time of the shooting." Alex Elliot put pictures of both the former LAPD detective and the young man he had killed on the murder board. He had come up to Major Crimes just a few minutes previously, and was thankful that his former Captain, their current ranking officer, was nowhere to be seen. She was not going to be pleased about this.

Those present didn't seem to be following him. "Yeah, okay," Flynn was leaning against a desk, arms folded over his chest. "What's your point, Elliot. Doesn't FID have better things to do than go digging around in old cases? If you already put the scumbag away, why are you wasting our time with it right now?"

At his desk, Julio smirked. "We've been good, sir." He leaned forward, dark eyes shining. "They miss us down there. We haven't hardly dealt with FID at all in two years. Just the Lieutenant's shooting a couple of months ago, and that was straight forward."

Lieutenant Provenza snorted. "I will say, it seems to go a lot faster now than I ever remember it going in the past. Wonder why that is."

"You can't have her back," Sanchez stated. He stared hard at Elliot, while wondering if he could intimidate him into leaving. "If you're bored, go bother traffic. They're always screwing something up."

"Yeah," Flynn grinned. "Or Narcotics. Hey," He pointed at the young FID officer. "I could make a call, get them all nice and riled up for you. Been a while since I tangled with those idiots."

Elliot drew a deep breath and looked heavenward. He wondered just how hard he needed to pray to acquire the patience for dealing with these people. He also questioned how the Captain did it every day. "The point is," he stated slowly, as though speaking to a group of children, "Thompson is getting out of jail, _today_. He wasn't very happy with the investigating officer that put him away-"

"Who would be?" Flynn shook his head. "I know it's a huge shock to you, but a lot of people, especially cops, don't much like it when you toss them in jail." He rolled his eyes at the kid. "Why not tell us something we don't know." He checked his watch. "If Provenza misses Jeopardy, you're screwed." The Lieutenant glared at him, but Flynn merely grinned in response.

"Just keep in mind," Provenza shook a finger at him. "You're not that far behind me."

"There were threats made!" Elliot spoke loudly and quickly, trying to get their attention. "I was new in FID back then," he explained. "I'd observed a few cases, but this was the first one that I really got to take point on. That was, until it went a little south. See, we found out that Thompson was having an affair with his partner while we were investigating the shooting. That kind of thing spreads pretty fast around here. His wife found out, took their kids, moved back to Ohio and as far as I can tell, never spoke to him again." He waved a hand through the air. "The whole thing got convoluted. When we found out that Thompson was doing drugs, having an affair, my training officer took over." He looked around, meeting all their gazes. He seemed to have their attention now, scandal did that. "You see, I was handpicked for FID," he explained slowly, deliberately. "The Captain trained me _herself_. When we realized that it wasn't going to be a routine clear and report, the Captain took over. There couldn't be any mistakes on a case where an LAPD officer was actually going to be found negligent. She went back over every instance of the case herself. She reviewed every piece of evidence, every statement, and tried _very hard_ to prove Thompson innocent." Elliot sighed. "I mean, I know that _no one_ actually believes that's what we do, but we don't generally go into Officer involved shootings thinking that the cop involved is incompetent."

"Okay." Flynn had pushed off the desk. He walked a couple of steps closer. His hands were at his hips now, hanging loosely near his belt. "So, the Captain took over. Swept in, the way she usually does... did," he corrected. "Thompson didn't appreciate it. There were some things he was into that got leaked, that kind of thing just happens. That was ten years ago." His eyes narrowed. "You think it's still an issue?" Flynn's eyes swept the room. It wasn't just him. He had all their attention now. Even Provenza looked concerned. A grudge could be a dangerous thing... especially when the person holding it had nothing to lose and had already killed once.

"I don't know," Elliot shrugged. "I tried talking to the Captain about it, she blew it off. She figures after ten years and getting off the drugs, Thompson has had time to cool off. I'm not so convinced. I mean, the guy lost everything. His job, his wife, his kids... his freedom. That wasn't all. The fact that he was having an affair, the review board said it spoke poorly of his character. They weren't willing to show him any leniency. He had to cop to a plea to get the lesser sentence. In Thompson's threats..." The officer shifted, looking uncomfortable. "He sort of indicated that he could have dealt with the investigation going badly. Except.. and these are his words, not mine. The stone cold, frigid bitch putting him away for a horrible mistake was having an affair of her own with another cop. If the LAPD was going to operate on such hypocrisy, he'd do something about that when he got out."

"Really." Flynn's stance had gone more confrontational. He was glaring at the younger man. "So, it's a dirtbag making accusations to try and get himself off the hook a little. Even if she had something going on," He held up a hand. "Not that I believe that, Captain's been legally separated from her husband a long time. It goes back a hell of a lot longer than the Thompson investigation."

"I know." Elliot grimaced. "Which is why PSB didn't look into it any farther. Plus there are no actual rules _against_ it, and that's not really important. I always thought this guy Thompson was a little unhinged. After actually spending ten years in prison, what is he going to be capable of when he gets out?" He shrugged. "Look, we've got no actual evidence that he'll do _anything_, but the Captain isn't willing to listen. She's a little stubborn-"

"No!" Provenza blinked at him. "I don't believe it."

Flynn snorted and chuckled quietly. "What he means is, we're a little familiar with that aspect of her personality. Alright, we hear you, listen..." He pointed at him. "Without actual evidence, there isn't a lot we can do. We'll keep an eye on things."

"That will have to be enough," Elliot stated. "It's more than what she's willing to do." It hadn't set well with him. He couldn't do a lot in his capacity with FID, but maybe someone else would keep an eye on things.

Provenza shook his head. "Like you said, stubborn." He swiveled in his chair, fixed the kid with a look. "Now, scurry on back to your rat cave, we'll take it from here."

Elliot rolled his eyes at them. "I guess it was too much to ask that you'd get a new appreciation for what we do."

"Who?" Flynn smirked. "Us?" He shook his head. "Nah, but if you ever need someone to liven things up for you. We're your squad."

"Yeah, thanks a lot," Elliot said drily. He left the reports he brought up with him, so that they could go over it, familiarize themselves with the case.

Sykes leaned forward in her seat after he'd gone. "So," She began slowly. "What if this guy Thompson was telling the truth. What do we do?"

Provenza fixed her with his best, '_are you stupid_' glare. "We don't _do_ anything, Sykes. You heard Elliot. There are no rules about that kind of thing, not really. I mean, it's frowned upon," as he said it, he glared hard at Flynn, "but there is nothing actually written. Besides, that was ten years ago. Look at the hours we work?" He began to laugh. "I think if the Captain had anyone else in her life besides Rusty and us, we'd know about it. Even you can't hide the fact that you're dating."

"Ah," she pointed at him and grinned. "But _who_ am I dating?" Her eyes glittered. "That's something you'll never know."

The old man's eyes narrowed. "We will see about that, Sykes. We will see about that." Now that she had put down the gauntlet, even if he could care less about her personal life, he would find out who she was seeing.

Julio chuckled quietly. "You stepped in it now," he told her with a smirk.

Amy simply shrugged. "Bring it on, Lieutenant."

While the others bantered, Andy reached for his phone. _Where are you _The text was sent to Sharon.

_Leaving an appointment. I'm on my way back. Did we catch a case?_

_Not exactly. _Andy glanced around the murder room. _Meet me at Pablo's, we need to talk._

The response was a few more minutes in coming. _Ok. I'm getting in the car now. Ten minutes?_

_Yes. _He replied. Andy reached for his jacket and pulled it on. Today he'd worn the lighter, gray three piece suit. She liked that one, although he told himself that hadn't factored into his choice. "I've got an errand," he announced. "I'm taking a lunch." If his partner narrowed his eyes at him, he decided not to care. The others were too busy needling Sykes to notice.

Pablo's was a little Cantina about eleven blocks away. It was small, just a little hole in the wall restaurant. It was someplace he'd taken Sharon to before, for lunch or dinner, especially when they didn't want to be bothered or seen out and about. It wasn't hard to reach, and this time of day, it wasn't all that crowded. No, it was in the evenings that it was hard to get a table. When Andy pulled into the small parking lot beside the small building, Sharon was leaning against the side of her car, looking at her phone. When his car stopped beside hers, she looked up.

He stepped out of the car and rounded the hood. She joined him. Her head tilted and she looked speculatively at him. Andy shook his head and indicated they should go inside. A small smile graced her lips, only widening when his hand landed against the small of her back.

They were seated fairly quickly and after their drink orders were taken, Sharon crossed her legs beneath the table and lifted her brows at him. "Are you going to tell me what's going on now?" He wasn't usually so secretive and he seemed to have something on his mind, if the pensive expression was anything to go by.

Andy fiddled with the coaster in front of him. "When were you going to tell me that other cops knew about us?"

Her eyes went wide and she blinked at him a few times. Glancing around them was only instinct, even as she leaned forward. "What are you talking about? Who knows about us?" Then Sharon shook her head. Certainly if it had gotten out, despite how very careful they had always been, she would have been called into Taylor's office by now. "_Andy_." She hummed quietly and tucked a lock of dark hair behind her ear. "Maybe you should start at the beginning."

He leaned forward against the table, on his elbows and pinned her with his dark look. "Donald Thompson. Ten years ago he accused you of having an affair with another cop. I think we both know he wasn't blowing hot air, Sharon."

"Oh, that." She exhaled quietly, and in some relief. "Andy," she waved a hand between them and shook her head. "He was a disgruntled suspect who was going to jail for a long time. It didn't mean anything, and I doubt he had any proof." She smiled at him. "Even if he does, that was a long time ago, and it's not an issue now."

"Isn't it?" His hand moved, barely an inch, and his fingers traced along hers. "_Sharon_," his voice pitched lower. They had agreed, whatever this thing was between them, to let it rest when she transferred to Major Crimes. It wasn't as easy to do in practice, and they had failed at it, abysmally. Or perhaps, they were succeeding, it really depended upon the point of view. It was just a little more complicated now, this thing between them. Now it wasn't only about sex bringing them together. Oddly enough, when they stopped sleeping together they started getting to know one another, and now... now he wanted a hell of a lot more from her. Complicated, yes. It was complicated as hell. She was still married. He was trying to be patient, but even on his best days, Andy Flynn was not a patient man. He loved her. That was a truth which had startled the hell out of him the first time he realized it.

Eleven years ago when their _relationship_ began, neither of them had particularly cared how complicated it was or it wasn't. Back then she had just been a hot piece of tail and he was just the available and accommodating means of scratching an itch that she wouldn't let her estranged husband anywhere near anymore. They hadn't much liked each other either, although that changed after a while. Their association was always fraught with conflict, a relationship between them wasn't much different. Even when it was just about the sex.

No one had known about them, and that was just fine. After all, who would believe either of them? Him with Rulebook-Raydor and her with the LAPD's resident troublemaker? They were rather well matched in that regard.

Until they fought. They had some very interesting arguments over the years. Usually about her rulebook and his penchant for trouble. They had gone weeks, even months at a time without speaking. It never lasted. Eventually he ended up back in her bed or she was back in his. The longest they'd gone without _breaking-up_ was the period of time in which she had been assisting the team with the federal lawsuit. They'd both needed an outlet, and that constant contact with one another, well... that was when things started to shift between them. It stopped being about late night calls and quick trysts.

His partner wanted to know why he didn't have much of a reaction when she joined their squad? He'd already known. They had to end what was happening between them if she was going to be his boss.

Andy understood that. He didn't like it. He tried to be angry with her. It didn't work out so well. He realized something else about them. They worked well together. He could finish one of her thoughts and she his, and he wondered how much of that was the result of having spent the last several years mixed up in some odd _on again, off again_ affair with one another.

They had never been on a single date. Not that either of them would acknowledge. That was why it was so important to him, especially after she insisted how they absolutely _had_ to stop being with one another, to point out that having her accompany him to Nicole's wedding was in fact _not_ a date. It couldn't be. They couldn't be together. For one thing, he worked for her, and for another... as she so carefully pointed out at the time, she was a married woman.

Who the hell were they fooling anyway? His family thought they were together. His partner knew there was something going on, on his part anyway, and then... then there was the two of them. Him and her, a very well cut red dress, an evening at the ballet and… well…

Despite all her efforts to the contrary, Sharon couldn't stop herself from wanting him. What was the old saying? Absence made the heart grow fonder? It wasn't until they weren't together that she began to realize how much she wanted more. Not just the physical, but she had come to appreciate _him_. To be honest, she enjoyed having someone in her life again. Someone she could curl up beside on a cool night. When he walked her to her door that night, after they managed somehow to make it through an evening with his ex-wife and her husband, he bent to kiss her. It was meant to be a thank you, simple gratitude. It went so much farther than that.

In the space of a heartbeat she was in his arms and everything they had been denying was back, full force. She was always attracted to him. He always had the ability to make her legs weak with a look or a touch. After more than a year spent growing closer, having his hands on her again was so much more significant. She invited him in. He stayed the night, but was out before Rusty was awake the next morning.

They could no more go back to the way things had been than they could stop breathing. If Sharon were following her precious rules, she would have already reported the change in their relationship. She wouldn't do that. They were concerned at how it would look, the two of them together, especially with her still married.

If there was one point of contention between them now, it was that. Andy was striving to be understanding. He knew that she didn't love Jack, barely tolerated him in fact. She took the act of divorce very seriously. She had waited twenty years to do it, of course it was an issue for her. Her hesitation had nothing to do with her feelings for him, he knew. He tried to remind himself of that.

With her looking at him now, eyes soft and a smile curving at her lips, Andy shook his head. "You're killing me, Sharon."

She chewed on the corner of her lip. "I know," she said simply. Sharon met his gaze, she smiled gently, warmly. "I have a lot of loose ends to tie up." She sighed quietly and shook her head. "I know that I'm not easy, and I'm probably making this more difficult than it needs to be. I just want it done _right_." Sharon looked down for a moment, when her eyes lifted again, it was to gaze at him through her lashes. "You've worked very hard to get your life in order, Andy. You're still working at it. I think you deserve for me to do the same, and with the same consideration. Let's face it, honey, I'm a mess." It was a rarely known fact. Her marriage, what still existed of it, was evidence enough of that.

Andy closed his hand over hers. "I know. There's a lot more at stake now. That's... you're not a mess, sweetheart." She had just been hurt. Badly. There was much of it that she took on herself, and on some points she was correct. It took two people to make or break a marriage, but he was putting most of the blame squarely on Jack's shoulders. His thumb stroked the back of her hand. He sighed. "Sharon, that's not why I wanted to talk to you. This thing with Thompson-"

"Will be fine. He's had time to cool off. I'm not blowing it off, but I truly believe it will be a non-issue." She shrugged delicately. "If it comes up, then, it comes up. If he tries something, well, I'm armed. I also seem to recall a little souvenir in your desk that proves I'm a hell of a shot too." She smirked at him. She lay her other hand over the one covering hers. "Andy, it's not the first time a disgruntled former cop has threatened me for putting their career at an end. I promise, it will be okay," she said gently. In the dim lighting of the restaurant, her eyes glittered at him. She was touched that he would worry about her so keenly. She could handle herself, but from Andy, it was genuine concern. She only loved him all the more. It made her almost giddy at the news she had for him. News she was originally planning to deliver over dinner that evening.

He leaned back in his seat and shook his head. "If you say so. I don't like it." He squinted at her. "Where were you today anyway?" He could feel his frustration with her rising and chose to change the subject instead. These days, fighting with Sharon was only enjoyable when there was a bed nearby. Hell, he loved that woman, but she could drive him insane.

"Hm." She looked up, briefly, when their drinks arrived. "With Gavin. We had an actual appointment, for once." Sharon's lashes fluttered, just a bit, and as she lifted the iced tea to her lips, she flashed a pleased look at him.

He stared at her for a moment and then realization dawned. His eyes widened slightly. "You're going to do it?" Andy sat up suddenly. His heart beat quickly, almost fluttering. If he was right, then this was something she had been going back and forth on for several months.

"I am." Sharon nodded slowly and her smile softened. "I think it's time. He's ready, and so am I. I'm going to adopt Rusty, and to do that, I need to... resolve a certain other issue. My non-existent marriage. Of course, that's not the only reason I need to finally close the door on that chapter of my life. It's…" She faltered for a moment and then she shrugged. "It's past time. This is something that I really should have done years ago, but at the very least, I should have done it months ago when it became obvious that _this_," she gestured between them, "wasn't going to be a temporary situation." He spent more nights at her place than he did his own, and now that Rusty no longer had a protection detail, they were availing themselves of the privacy of his residence also.

His brows lifted. For once, she wasn't wavering. It wasn't just a _someday _conversation. She was really making it happen. "Yeah?" A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"Indeed," she met his gaze, her own steady. She had missed him when they were _apart_, and she liked this closer relationship they had now. "I love you," she said softly. "I want to see where this goes. So far, it seems to be working out just fine."

"Yeah," he said gruffly. "It does." He lifted her hand to his lips, let them brush over her knuckles first, and then he turned it and kissed her palm. "It's working pretty damned well if you ask me."

She felt the same sudden thrill of excitement that she always got when he touched her. It spread inward from her hand until heat coiled and danced with giddy emotion in her belly . "Until then," She said thickly, "the past is the past. We didn't do anything wrong back then. We weren't in the same report structure, and I was always careful to break up with you when you were under investigation," she added, tossing in a crooked grin.

"Yeah," he rolled his eyes at her. "Tell me about it. I could always tell I was in trouble based on the kind of fight you were picking with me or if you just quit calling me." He smirked at her, eyes dancing with amusement.

"We must always obey the rules," she drawled teasingly. Much more seriously, she tilted her head. "Don't worry about Thompson, Andy. There have been no threats levied at this time. Let's not borrow trouble where none exists, okay?"

"Hm." He still didn't agree, about letting the past be the past anyway. He still worried. A dangerous man with a grudge was... well, it was something to worry about. If she wouldn't keep it in mind, he would. It's what he did. He looked out for Sharon, while she was busy looking out for everyone else.


	3. Chapter 3

Return to Me

by Kadi

Rated T

Disclaimer: If only they were mine… Sadly, they are not. I'm only borrowing them for a time, I promise to return them!

**Chapter 3 - Present Imperfect**

Once she was out of the shower, Sharon stood in the center of her bedroom, wrapped in only a towel. She was at a loss. Her mind knew what she needed to do, but her body was refusing to move. Instead, her gaze was sweeping the room. The change hadn't come all at once. The differences were subtle, but she could spot them easily enough. There was a jacket thrown over a chair in the corner, the dark pinstripe, and she was reminded that she needed to drop that suit and a few other things at the cleaners. There was a belt that was not hers hanging from the knob of the closet door. Inside she knew what she would find. A couple of spare suits and ties. On the table beside the bed there was a book and his reading glasses.

He hadn't moved in, but they both had personal items which had taken up residence at each others homes. She had spare clothes at his house, and now that she thought about it, her favorite red pumps. On the vanity there was more than just a spare toothbrush, he kept a shaving kit there as well.

Sharon turned slowly and she eyed the bed itself. Her legs shook as she walked toward it, as if her knees were attempting to buckle beneath her. Upon reaching it, she lifted the faded blue t-shirt. She was immediately engulfed by the familiar mix of cologne and aftershave. She folded onto the edge of the bed. Pain filled her, near to bursting through her chest with a tightness that made it difficult to breathe. She clutched it to her chest and lowered her face into the softness. It still smelled of him, of both of them, really. Last night she had taken it off of him. After they'd made love, she had claimed at as her own. She found it exactly where she left it laying after she returned to her apartment that morning. She had worn it home. It wasn't the first time an article of his clothing had left his house on her body. Would it be the last?

She slumped sideways on the bed and drew her knees close to her body. It didn't feel as though she could exhale. This ache, this hurt, it went through her and held on. Her muscles seized, and even the pressure behind her eyes seemed frozen, unable to burst forth. Her mouth opened but there was no sound forthcoming. She curled around the old scrap of blue cotton and held on, as though nothing else in the world were more important. In that moment, nothing else was.

He found her there, after waiting several minutes outside her door upon the sound of the shower cutting off. Jack decided she had plenty enough time to get herself dressed and let himself into the bedroom. He sighed at finding her still in the towel, curled on the bed, eyes open but unseeing. "Sharon." He sat beside her and his hand landed against her hip. "You need to get up. You've gotta get dressed, honey." His hand stroked her hip, careful to remain on the towel. When she didn't move, simply continued to stare straight ahead, he sighed again. "We promised Rusty you'd only be gone as long as it took to get you cleaned up. The boy is waiting for you." Maybe it was a low blow, but if there was one thing that he knew about his wife, it was that the kids came first. He didn't mind being the asshole, not if it got her to look at him, which she did. She blinked once, and then a second time. When she nodded and sat up, Jack decided he didn't mind it at all. Not when watching her break was just too damned terrifying for words.

She was always the strong one. She was always the solid one. It didn't matter what he did, or how many times he screwed up over the years. Sharon was always the one who kept everything together.

Until now.

He stood up and walked to the closet. He took out a pair of jeans and a sweater and set them on the bed beside her. He'd leave the rest for her to get, somehow, strangely, he felt a little odd going into her dresser. Not so long ago, he wouldn't have minded digging through her underwear drawer, would have found it rather interesting. He figured that maybe he'd finally realized she didn't belong to him anymore. She wasn't his to keep, she wasn't his to hold onto. Hadn't been for some time, or so it seemed.

Jack sighed as he slipped out of the bedroom again to allow her to dress. He'd always loved her. In the back of his mind, he just always knew he'd never be able to hold on to her.

She emerged a few minutes later, dressed and put back together. If she looked drawn beneath the makeup, it was understandable. Sharon walked through the apartment and gathered her purse. Her badge was still inside, she clipped it to the waistband of her jeans. FID had her gun. Wasn't that an ironic turn of events?

She drew the purse onto her shoulder and turned where she stood. Her eyes found Jack. He was standing near the glass balcony door, hands tucked into his pockets. She drew a breath and let it out slowly. "Thank you." She waited until his gaze met hers and then she drew her bottom lip between her teeth. "I'm sorry," she added quietly. It wasn't how she planned for him to find out about this, that she had moved on. It wasn't how she planned a lot of things. She supposed it was all rather moot now. She couldn't change it. She couldn't change any of it.

Her gaze drifted and her eyes closed tightly. She could still smell the sickeningly sweet and metallic tang of blood. Despite having scrubbed them until they'd ached, her hands still felt sticky with it. Her jaw clenched and she swallowed hard past a knot in her throat. Bile rose, hot and bitter and she fought it down. She forced her eyes open again because she could still see _it_ and that was a moment she would like very much to forget. Sharon cleared her throat, she shook her head and drew another breath. "We should go," she stated.

"Yeah," he agreed. He walked toward her and palmed the keys he'd left on her desk earlier. "Like I said, kid's waiting." Jack didn't want to talk about it. It was what it was. He'd let her have the damned divorce. With any luck, maybe she'd have something to hold onto on the other side of that.

They lapsed into silence as they left her apartment. In the car, she used the time it took to drive across town to pull the shreds of her control back together. She told herself that it was much too soon to fall apart, and that there were others who needed her. Rusty, for instance, and her team. He'd have come with her had they allowed it, but she'd had Jack to drive her home and she could see that Rusty was a bit torn. With Jack to keep an eye on her, even if it wasn't entirely favorable, he'd chosen to stay with Provenza.

They were close. And she wasn't the only one having a hard time grasping the reality of the situation. If she were honest with herself, she would say that he seemed to have aged a good ten years in just a few hours.

Sharon concentrated on that, and by the time they'd reached the hospital again, she had more control over her emotions. Sharon strode ahead of Jack, more purpose in her steps, especially as they neared the fourth floor ICU waiting room. It was where they'd taken Andy after his surgery. After they'd done all they could. She bit the inside of her lip and refused to think of that. That the doctors seemed to think that there was nothing else they could do, that now it was all up to him.

Rusty spotted her first, but of course, he'd been watching for her since the moment she left. He was on his feet the moment that he registered she was back. It was with some relief that he realized she looked better, at least a little. She looked a lot less shocked. She was able to meet and return his gaze this time at least, even if what he saw in her eyes made him swallow hard. "Sharon." He moved to her side and there he fidgeted a bit. He wrung his hands together, for just a moment, and then he took another step forward and pulled her into an awkward hug. "There hasn't been any change," he said.

"He hasn't gotten worse." She held him tightly, just for a minute, and then she stepped back. He still wasn't comfortable with physical displays. "I'll take it," Sharon decided. "How is—" Her gaze circled the room, fell on the Lieutenant for a moment, before returning to the boy. "Everyone else?"

He shrugged. "Worried. We're all just waiting and no one really knows what we're waiting for. It's…" Rusty sighed. "Yeah."

"I know." She laid her hand on his arm and rubbed gently. "Let's go sit down." As he turned, Sharon's hand moved to his back and she guided him back toward his seat next to the Lieutenant.

"Sharon." Diana Lindsay stood upon spotting her. She approached quietly, if a bit hesitantly. Andy's ex-wife was there for her children. "Nicole and Mark are with him," she explained, a bit carefully. This woman that her ex-husband was seeing had always been a bit of a question mark to her. She seemed warm and gracious, and she had an ability to influence Andy like no one else ever had, certainly not herself. "I can have one of them step out if you'd like to—"

"No." Sharon touched her arm, if briefly. "Diana, no," she shook her head. "It's…" She glanced at those present who were previously unaware of her relationship with Andy. She supposed the cat was well and truly out of that bag now. "Let them sit with their father. I can wait." The ICU only allowed two visitors to a patient at a time. It was difficult to say, but she would not displace either of Andy's children, not while he was laying so close to death. No matter how badly she ached to be with him.

She felt incredibly guilty and a bit humbled at having been so difficult previously. Whatever past was between herself and Andy was not this woman's fault. She glanced behind her, the boy she had already met. The man was someone new. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm Diana, the ex-wife."

She held out her hand but he glanced at Sharon first. "Jack Raydor," he stated simply. "I'm the ex-husband." He figured that was true enough, even if it wasn't official yet.

It drew a surprised look from Sharon, but then she flashed a grateful smile at him. Her hand touched his arm. For just a moment, there was warmth in her gaze. "Excuse me," she said. "Diana, I'm sorry, I really need to see about my people," she gestured toward the gathered squad.

"Yes, of course." Diana watched her for a moment as she withdrew and made her circuit of the waiting room. The younger latino man was hunched over in his seat, and she watched her kneel in front of him, place a hand on his knee to get his attention. She sighed quietly, she'd make a point of having Nicole and Mark trade out with her soon.

"Julio." Sharon drew his attention. When he looked up at her, she smiled gently, but it didn't each her eyes. "Okay?"

He blinked, and looked a bit dazed for a moment. "Yes ma'am." Julio reached for her and stood, pulling her with him. "We ordered some food, Captain. Did you eat?"

She knew that he was stuck in the past a bit. She couldn't blame him for that. "I'll get something soon," she said, not really intending to. "Sound off, Detective. How is everyone?"

"Worried ma'am." His gaze swept the room. "A little shocked still, I think. The lieutenant's family is with him, and that's good. I'm worried," his gaze moved to Provenza before it shifted back to her. "He's taking it kind of hard," Julio spoke quietly, so that his voice wouldn't carry. "He thought that Lieutenant Flynn was just being.. you know, his usual self about you."

"That was a good part of it," she admitted quietly. "Thank you, Detective. I'll check on him." Sharon touched his arm again before slipping away. She made a point of stopping to speak with each one of them, Amy, Mike, and Buzz before she worked her way back over to where the Lieutenant sat. Before she reached him, another stepped in her path.

"Captain." Taylor had a concerned look in place, and stood with his hands in his pockets. "I spoke to Sergeant Elliot. FID was able to pull camera footage from the bank across the street. It was able to confirm your accounting of the incident. After the reports are filed—"

"Chief," she tilted her head. "With all do respect, I know the process, but thank you."

"I guess you do." His eyes narrowed speculatively. "I think there's a discussion that you and I need to have when this is over."

He spoke carefully, deliberately. Sharon sighed quietly. "Yes sir. I think you may be correct. If it helps my position any, we were waiting until my divorce is final."

His brow arched. She had misunderstood his intent. "It does at that, but it's not the conversation I meant, necessarily. I don't believe there's a time limit on that particular regulation. I'm willing to overlook certain… delays. However, now is not the time."

"No it is not." Sharon's gaze moved beyond him. "Excuse me, sir." She stepped away from him and continued on her path. Rusty vacated the chair beside him and Sharon moved quietly into it. She crossed her legs and leaned back. "Lieutenant."

"Captain." He glanced at her, then back to watch the boy find another place to sit. His hands were clasped together against his belly. "I guess this time I'm the idiot." Provenza slanted a look at her. "He wasn't being a paranoid buffoon."

"No," she said quietly. "But that makes two of us. I wasn't being paranoid enough." She folded her hands together and sighed. "I should have listened to him. It was my case. He's here because of me." Her voice hitched and she looked away. Sharon shook her head.

On that, the Lieutenant could disagree. "No, he's here because he's a fool in love. He stepped in front of a bullet meant for you and he'd do it again." He slanted a look at her. "It's really not anyone's fault, no one but the guy who pulled the trigger."

"I really wish I believed that," she murmured quietly. Sharon looked up at him. "I should have let him tell you, I'm sorry."

"I didn't want to know." Provenza glanced at her again, shrugged. "I still don't want to know," he groused. "I still think it's a bad idea, but I guess it's a little late for that now." He snorted. "About ten years too late." He tilted his head at her. "That part was true wasn't it?"

"Yes." Sharon looked down at her hands. "It ended for a while, when I transferred. Before that… it was always very simple. Casual. Then it… changed."

"God save me from fools in love," Provenza muttered.

"Indeed." She looked away from him again. When she felt the hand on hers she looked up, surprised.

"He's a stubborn ass," the Lieutenant said. "He'll be okay." Provenza paused. "Because if he's not, I'm going to personally drag his ass back from hell and kick it."

She felt a weak smile pulling at her lips. Sharon sank back more fully in the uncomfortable waiting room chair. "That makes two of us."

Silence settled over them, dark and eerie, but far less oppressive than any need to make conversation. At the top of the hour, Nicole appeared with her brother Mark on her heels. She glanced around the waiting room, and upon seeing Sharon, headed toward her. The other woman stood and they embraced tightly. "I have to go call and check on the boys. I thought you might like to sit with him for a while."

"I very much would." Sharon tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "At least until you're ready to go back in."

Nicole smiled gratefully, but shook her head. "No, not just yet. Take some time with, Dad, Sharon." She waved a hand beside her. "You remember my brother, Mark?"

"I do." She smiled wanly. "I'm sorry we're meeting again under less favorable circumstances. How are you, Mark?"

"I'm…" He wasn't even sure. He shrugged. Mark was a few years younger than Nicole, only just out of college. His relationship with his dad was a lot less certain, due to his distance at school. "Well, you know."

"Yes." Sharon folded her arms over her chest. "Someone ordered dinner," she told them. "Why don't both of you sit, rest for a few minutes and try to eat something. I won't be long," she told Nicole.

"I'll come for you when I'm ready," she hedged. Nicole tilted her head. She'd gotten her stubbornness from her father, she knew.

Sharon shook her head but flashed a grateful look. She glance behind her. "Lieutenant?"

"No," Provenza waved her on. "You go ahead. I can wait a few minutes."

"Thank you." Sharon excused herself and walked away from all of them. She moved through the doors separating them from the ICU and made her way down the short corridor. She already knew his room, but as she approached it, Sharon's feet grew heavy. She hesitated outside the sliding glass door. Pressure built in her chest again and she took shallow, shuddering breaths. Her eyes closed and she exhaled slowly before reaching out to slide the door open.

The room smelled sterile. With the exception of the quiet beeping from the heart monitors, the hiss and drip of the IV machine, and the quiet hum and sigh of the ventilator it was silent. Sharon pushed the door closed behind her and used that moment to steel herself against the necessary. She blinked rapidly to clear her eyes before she turned. He was pale, gray like the death which was trying to claim him. His chest was bare, they hadn't put a gown on him due to the dressings, but a sheet and blanket covered his lower body.

Sharon drew her top lip between her teeth and slowly approached the bed. His eyes were closed, of course they were. How she wished that he would open them, flash that smug look at her. She just wanted to see those dark eyes, gaze at them, see the way they flashed with emotion, and how they lit with warmth and love. She reached out to lay her hand on his arm and hesitated, almost drawing it back. Her fingers shook.

As she finally touched him, she realized that he was cool beneath her fingers. Sharon exhaled a ragged breath and fought the sob rising in her throat. He was usually her personal furnace. The fingers of one hand slid down to circle his wrist, the other moved to his shoulder. Sharon bent and careful of the wires, leads, and ventilator tubing, she pressed her lips against his ear. "I love you," she murmured. "Come back to me." The hand at his shoulder moved, and she lightly stroked the backs of her fingers against his cheek. "_Andy_."

She never meant to love him. Now she couldn't imagine ever having not. It wasn't enough, the short amount of time they'd had together. It wasn't nearly enough. She couldn't lose him now. Not when she was finally ready to share a life with him. Not when she finally understood just how much she needed him.


	4. Chapter 4

Return to Me

by Kadi

Rated T

Disclaimer: If only they were mine… Sadly, they are not. I'm only borrowing them for a time, I promise to return them!

**Chapter 4 - Puzzle Pieces**

"Jensen Monroe, age 34," Sanchez dropped the file on his desk and then sank into his chair. "Got mad at his girlfriend, decided to carve her up."

"Just folded, three minutes into the interview," Sykes shook her head as she sat down. "We're taking it as a confession. Hobbs is going to put it before the Special Circs committee and send him for a psych evaluation. She doesn't know if she wants to try him or put him in a mental institution for the rest of his life."

"The guy was certainly not there," Tao observed.

"Ah, come on, Mike." Provenza smirked. "There's always a good reason to kill your girlfriend," and because he was being sarcastic, he rolled his eyes.

"That explains why you don't have one." Flynn shook his head. "Hell of a thing, I might be with Hobbs on this one. Nailing a dirtbag is one thing, but the kid had issues. Girlfriend wouldn't stop talking during the game? Breaking out your hunting knife is a bit extreme. Just send her to the store for more chips, that usually works."

"Be that as it may, we have the confession," Sharon folded her arms in front of her body. "We'll leave it up to the DA's office for now. In the meantime—" She paused when she realized what Andy had said. She cut her eyes at him and pursed her lips, just for a moment and then continued. They would have a talk about _that_ later. She had made more than one late evening run to the grocery for him. From the corner of her eye, she saw him fighting a grin while she directed everyone to wrap up their reports and get them turned in.

After Sharon retreated back into her office, the team settled in to finish their case reports. Andy folded himself behind his desk. He pulled up the barely started case report, but turned his attention instead to the messages that had come in throughout the day from Donald Thompson's parole officer. It had only been a week since the man was released from prison. Andy was keeping tabs on him, although he didn't exactly want Sharon to _know_ that he was keeping tabs on the man. He'd made inquiries to the parole officer, just to make sure that the man had checked into the halfway house he was assigned to on time, and that he was following his parole ordered routine. If there were any deviations, Andy wanted to know about it.

So far Thompson seemed to be staying out of trouble and doing what was expected of him. It had only been a week. Andy wasn't anywhere near ready to relax his guard. While he was wrapped up in composing his response to the parole officer, he didn't notice his partner approaching his desk. Not until a stack of papers were dropped on his desk, beside his elbow.

"These were faxed over for you," Provenza was scowling at him. "Want to tell me what all this is? I thought we decided, actually, I thought _The Captain_ decided that we would give Donald Thompson his privacy unless any actual threats were received?" Following the briefing they received from Elliot down in FID, he and Flynn had sat down with the Captain to discuss the situation. She was adamant that it was a non-issue. A decade was a long time. They couldn't police people for things they _might _do, especially without any evidence. She suggested, quite strenuously, that they let the situation ride. As far as Provenza was concerned, if she didn't want to pursue it, they had plenty enough to do without adding a case to their load. Besides, she was right. The man's threats a decade before were vague, and there had been none since. There was nothing that they could do. His partner didn't seem to be on board with that, if the check-in sheet from the halfway house that the parole officer had faxed over to them was any indication.

Andy glanced at them, then grabbed the papers and began flipping through them. "Since when have either of us ever blindly followed orders before?" He shrugged. "I thought it was worth looking into. Something about the guy bugs me." Andy looked up at his partner and arched a brow at him. "Unless you want to end up with another Weller situation on our hands? She may not think its an issue, but Rusty didn't think his was either. Look, the guy isn't making threats now, but he did. Who knows what the scumbag thought up while he was locked away, _and_ he was a cop." Andy pointed out the truly obvious. "He would know that we wouldn't move on him without evidence of an actual threat. He could be biding his time."

"If he's not," Provenza bent forward, let his voice drop to a low hiss. "Then you're wasting your time and the Parole Officer's because of some screwed up idea in your head that you actually _like_—"

Andy's frown deepened to a scowl. "Yeah, I happen to like her," he shot back, attempting to keep the conversation quiet despite his rising annoyance. "She's a good cop and she's had our back. She's also a friend. Friends look out for each other," he paused for a moment, tilted his head. His dark eyes flashed with both anger and irritation. "Or maybe you've forgotten that."

The older man leaned back, surprised by that pot shot. "Now you listen here," he pointed a finger at him. "Just because I'm not running all over town looking like some kind of idiot with a schoolboy crush does not mean—"

"Aren't you?" Now Flynn smirked. He knew of one good way to get his partner off his case, preferably before he really pissed him off. "You're suddenly pretty damned interested in the rules. Oh, and let's not forget all the other little ways you've become helpful lately. Hey Rusty, let's grab a burger. Hey Rusty, let's go see your mom. Oh Rusty, why don't we go to a movie." He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. "Whose got the crush here? At least I'm looking out for her and not cozying up to her kid."

"I—" His jaw clamped shut and his cheeks went ruddy. Provenza sniffed at him. "You've lost your damned mind." He turned on his heel to return to his desk. "Fine, you wan't to be an idiot. Go right ahead. I'm not going down with you on this one. This time, you are on your own!"

"Uh huh." He continued to grin. "Whatever you say. I think the old man protests too much!" Andy knew how far he could needle him, however, and stopped just shy of pointing out that he'd always known his partner liked them younger, he just never realized he had a thing for brunettes.

Still chuckling, Andy got back to work. He filed the information on Thompson away for now. He would review it again later. Since he still had a case report to write and file, he got started on that instead.

He'd made it half way through the report when a hurricane blew through the Murder Room. It came in the shape of Jackson Raydor. He stalked through the room, eyes dark and a scowl on his face. They hardly had time to register surprise at his having returned before he was pushing through the Captain's closed office door. More than that, he slammed it closed behind him.

It rattled the walls of the Murder Room, and Sykes who hadn't noticed his arrival jumped in her seat. She looked up and around, eyes wide. Already they could hear raised voices, or rather, Jack's raised voice, coming from inside the office.

Flynn and Provenza looked at one another. Whatever else they might think about the Captain's personal life, they recognized trouble when they saw it. Both of them were on their feet in the next second and striding to the office. Flynn, whose desk was positioned just outside, beat him to it. He pushed the door open and held it while Provenza slid into the room ahead of him.

While the elder Lieutenant moved up alongside the irate husband, to take position in front of the desk, Andy let his instincts pull him around to the side, nearer to Sharon. He folded his arms over his chest and scowled darkly.

"…you cannot be seriously considering this," Jackson was shouting at her. He slapped the packet of papers on the desk in front of her. "Thirty years, Sharon. You're going to throw thirty years out in the garbage, just like that? Without even a phone call? I had to hear about it from a processor? You've done a lot of cold damned things during our marriage, but this one, let me tell you… this one just about takes the cake. What the hell are you even thinking. _Are_ you even thinking? Do you have any idea—"

She was letting him have his say, get it off his chest. Jack's temper had always come on swift and strong and usually burned itself out quickly. While he yelled, she leaned back in her seat and folded her hands in her lap. She regarded him, head tilted and a brow raised. When her Lieutenants stepped into the office, obviously beckoned by the state of her husband's arrival, she just shrugged at them.

"Thirty-three," Sharon said quietly. She shifted in her seat, growing more comfortable and folded her arms over her chest while crossing her legs. "It's been thirty-three years, Jack, last month as a matter of fact. May twenty-first. We had a lovely spring wedding, or have you forgotten?" Her lashes fluttered slightly and she gave him the serene smile that always set his teeth on edge. If he was going to accuse her of being cold, she would give him cold. "I have always found it odd that you would protest ending this marriage so much when you're the one who walked out on it. Hm. I suppose people can be unpredictable," she drawled.

Where he stood, frustration rippled through him. Jack leaned forward, hands braced against the chairs in front of her desk. "Well, who could stand being marri—"

"I would choose my next words a little more carefully if I were you," Provenza stated, interrupting him. He slanted a look at the man. His eyes had narrowed. From what he gathered, she had finally decided to be rid of the deadbeat. Good for her! It was a long time in coming as far as he was concerned. How she stood being married to the man this long was a mystery to him, but god only knew that the woman was stubborn.

"Yeah," Andy was fair to brimming with barely contained energy himself. "We might decide the Captain is feeling a little threatened. Hate to see you end up in holding overnight… over a misunderstanding. Guys down there don't much care for lawyers, if you get my drift."

Sharon cut her eyes toward him, gave a barely there shake of her head. She did not need him to fight this battle for her. This was hers, she had started it, and she would see it through. "Jack, I do apologize if your ego has been bruised. The fact remains, the papers have been filed. You may contest or not, it is your choice, but this divorce is happening. We've been separated for over twenty years, and Gavin assures me there is _nothing_ that you can do to stop this." She leaned forward then and let her hands drop to rest, clasped together, atop her desk. "Our finances are long since untangled. You have your properties and I have mine. The children are grown. It's really very simple."

"Simple?" Jack squinted at her. "How can you call ending a marriage simple?" He shook his head at her. "I thought we said this would be temporary?"

She laughed. She really wished that she could have contained it, but Sharon chuckled quietly at him. "Twenty years ago when we separated yes, it was meant to be temporary. Jack, how can you ask me that? Leaving was your choice, not mine. It has always been your decision to run rather than stay and work things out. Now I can save you the time of having to write yet another letter full of empty and pathetic promises. Now," she pushed the papers he'd tossed on her desk back toward him. "If you have any questions, you can direct them to my attorney. I'm finished discussing this." Sharon lifted her pen again and turned her attention back to the paperwork she was attempting to complete when he barged into her office. "Lieutenants, Mr. Raydor was just leaving, you'll see that he finds his way out?"

It was a dismissal. Provenza moved to the door and pushed it open. "You heard her," he said. "We can show you out, or I can ask Detective Sanchez to do it." Part of him was really hoping for the second option. From where he sat, he saw Julio's head perk up. He wasn't the only one.

Jack pushed away from the desk. "I can find my way out," he stated. "We're not done talking about this, Sharon. Don't think you can just shut me down. These guys won't be around next time to give you an out."

It was on the tip of his tongue to say, _wanna bet_? Instead, Andy's eyes narrowed. He stood a bit taller and took just a step forward. After Jack left, he looked down at her. Provenza was still hovering in the door. Andy tilted his head at her. "Go ahead," he told his partner. "I'll be right there. Got a question for the Captain."

Provenza rolled his eyes. "Yes, _of course_ you do." He walked out and let the door close behind him, all the while muttering, "Great, now she's going to be divorced and he's really going to be a pain in my ass."

Sharon sighed quietly, slumping a bit in her seat once they were gone. "It's fine," she said. "I had a feeling that was going to happen when he was served. I'd rather it here than at home." It cost her to say that too, the little scene he'd made was embarrassing. She hated that any of her team had seen it, although it wasn't the first time they'd seen her butt heads with Jack. Still, at least here, there was no Rusty to witness it.

"It's okay to _not_ be fine every now and then, Sharon." Andy stepped toward her and leaned over, hands braced against the side of her desk. "Look, we all know the guy is bad news. So yeah, better it here than at home. Did you remember to call the super, make sure he knows not to give Jack a copy of the new key?" She'd had the locks changed during the letter writing incident when Rusty was under increased security. An alarm had also been installed.

"I did." She smiled at him. "I was a good girl, Lieutenant Flynn, I promise."

There was a sadness in her gaze that belied her flippancy and it made him wish that he could hold her. This wasn't the place for that, however, on that they were agreed. "Good. I have an idea, why don't you call Rusty. Tell him to pack an overnight bag. Both of you can stay at my place tonight, it's big enough." The kid knew about them, and he knew to keep his mouth closed about it. If there was one thing that Rusty was good at, it was privacy and keeping secrets. "Give Jack a little more time to cool off, if he does show up at your place later, neither one of you will be there to have to put up with him. He won't be able to get in, and eventually… he'll go away." Andy leaned closer to her and grinned. "Or he'll make enough noise that the neighbors will call the cops on him. Either way, problem solved."

Her face softened. Her eyes gleamed with warmth and affection. "I think we'll take you up on that," she said, voice hitching, growing thick with emotion. "If Rusty wants to. He may choose to make his own plans."

"If he does," Andy shrugged. "His loss, I'm cooking." He raised up and stepped back from the desk. "I better get back out there before Provenza sends someone after me. Okay?"

"Hm." She nodded at him. "I am." She tapped the end of her pen against the top of her desk. "Thank you, Andy."

He shrugged as he walked toward the door. "Lady, taking care of you is kind of what I do." Andy tossed a wink and a crooked grin at her before he slipped back through the door, closing it behind him.

Sharon slumped back in her chair. She exhaled quietly. Her heart fluttered. She was filled with warmth. "Yes it is," she murmured. He did it very well, too. Sharon's eyes closed and she hummed quietly. Her heart ached a bit. Despite the warmth and love which flooded her at Andy's words, there was still the bitterness to get through with Jack. It was not going to be a pleasant process. He seemed to have no problem leaving her, but letting her go was another matter. Sharon looked up when moisture pooled in her eyes. She drew a long, deep breath and let it out slowly. She would seek her refuge with Andy tonight. Later, she would call Gavin. The sooner this marriage ended, the better.


	5. Chapter 5

Return to Me

by Kadi

Rated T

Disclaimer: If only they were mine… Sadly, they are not. I'm only borrowing them for a time, I promise to return them!

**Chapter 5 - So We Wait**

Movement in the room startled Sharon. She looked up from where she had pulled a chair close to Andy's bed, on the side which wasn't busy with leads and wires. She was curled in the chair, legs drawn under her and leaning sideways, his hand held in hers. Her elbow rested against the arm of the chair while that hand held her head up. She looked over as a nurse entered the room and leaned back. While she said nothing, her hand gently stroked his forearm. He remained unconscious, and although she had little idea what any of the numbers on his monitors meant, she would glance at them from time to time just to reassure herself they were still there.

The nurse gave her a small smile and walked over to check each of his leads. She checked the IV and the flow of the ventilator. The monitors at the nurses station was recording his vital signs, but they had to do a visual check twice an hour. She recorded the information on his chart, via her tablet before withdrawing. She was only gone for a moment, when she returned, she no longer had the tablet. "Are you Sharon?"

"Yes," she said, a bit surprised and somewhat taken back.

"His clothing was bagged in the Emergency room and sent downtown as evidence," the nurse stated. "There were some personal belongings in his pockets, however, and those were given to his family. A phone, his wallet. This had your name on it." She held out a small, flat white box. "I think it was for you."

"Thank you." Sharon accepted it and let her eyes fall to study it. It was nondescript, but most alarming were the smears of blood on the once gleaming ivory exterior. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and waited until the nurse had withdrawn again before she fumbled with the lid. Her hands were shaking. She glanced at the man in the bed in front of her and drew a thin breath. "What did you do?" She asked quietly.

Sharon pulled the top off the box and inside she found the folded note. It had, as the nurse had said, her name on it. Beneath the note there was a delicate, shining platinum chain, on the end of which a circular pendant sparkled in a ring of diamonds. Sharon lifted a hand to her lips and pressed her fingers against them when they trembled. "_Andy_." Moisture filled her eyes, and this time there was little that she could do to stop the flow. A single tear, and then a second fell to slide slowly down her cheek.

She lay the box in her lap and lifted the note. It shook in her trembling hand when she opened it. His familiar slanting script lay in front of her. She always teased him that she had such a hard time reading his writing, she could see that he had taken particular care this time. Each word was written with deliberate care, and as she read, her heart wrenched painfully.

_Sharon,_

_I know he hurt you. I know that you took his ring off a long time ago. You__'__re not ready to wear another. Someday you may be. If not, then just let this stand as my promise. I__'__m not going anywhere. I am always going to be here for you. I am always going to love you. I am always going to want to put a diamond on your hand and let the world know that you__'__re mine. Show them that I__'__m yours. Until then, wear this instead. Let it just be ours. Just as long as you know that I love you, that__'__s enough for me. You are enough for me. _

_Always, _

_Andy_

Too much, it was simply too much. The note meant more to her than the necklace, although she would cherish it as well. He was making a commitment to her, in his own way, even when he knew that she would attempt to shy away from such promises. How well he knew her.

Sharon bent forward when the pain in her chest became too much. She clutched the gift and note to her chest and exhaled harshly. A low keening sound echoed in the small room. Her entire body shook with it. Even breathing pained her. She made a choked sound as she tried to draw breath again and found it hard to inhale past the tightening in her throat and chest. She drew her knees to her chest and curled in on herself, as though becoming smaller would ease the pain. "What did you do," she gasped. "God Andy, _what_ did you do?"

He had put himself between her and a bullet. It had ripped through his body, joined by a second. It was due to her own stubbornness that he was laying in that bed. Sharon choked on a sob and swallowed it. Would she now only be left with a memory of his love? Written in words on a scrap of paper. Would he never know how much that meant to her? His quiet patience, that he was willing to wait. That he would take what she could give him and never press her for more? Would he now never know just how much she loved him?

She pulled the necklace out of the box and tossed the stained cardboard aside. After fastening it around her neck, she moved from the chair. It wasn't easy. It was damned difficult to arrange herself beside him in the narrow bed, and she was careful of each and ever wire, tube, and lead as she did it. His skin still felt entirely too cool to her, but she curled against his side and wrapped her arms around his.

Her head lay against his shoulder. Her mouth was near his ear. "I belong to you," she whispered. "Always…" Sharon turned her face into his arm, let her lips rest against his bicep. Tears continued to flow from her eyes and she lay there, needing to be close, needing to feel him. She needed to hear the breath rattling in his chest, even if it was assisted and artificial. She needed him, and she wondered as she held on to him, if he would ever hold her again. She would promise him anything, just to have his arms around her again.

She was still laying there when his partner finally stepped into the room an hour later. When she started to move, he waved a hand at her. "No, don't get up." He wouldn't stay long. There was another chair on the other side of the room. Provenza walked around and drew it close to the foot of the bed, well away from the wires and IVs on that side. He sank gratefully into it. He observed both of them. His partner looked pale, and a bit diminished. The Captain was looking haggard. There were obvious streaks in her makeup. He chose not to think about that too closely. She looked rather small, curled as she was on the edge of the bed, pressed between his partner's body and the bed rail. There was something clutched to her chest, and he wondered at that. Provenza did not ask.

Instead, he clasped his hands against his belly and leaned back in the chair. "I told Rusty I would check on you," He said quietly. "We sent Sykes down to the deli over on Alden. I think he might feel a little less anxious if you try to eat something."

She hummed quietly and shook her head. "I don't want to leave him alone," She said quietly. "I'm not really hungry."

"Who is?" Provenza glanced at her, then looked back at his partner. "I'll stay with him," he promised. "You go," he said. "Get something to eat, stretch your legs. Let the kid see you're okay." He nodded his head in his partner's direction, "He's not going anywhere."

Sharon lay quietly for a moment. She made no move to get off the bed, or acknowledged that she'd heard him. Sharon sighed quietly and finally, she sat up on the bed. She leaned over him and with her weight balanced on one hand, she cupped his cheek with the other. The Lieutenant was correct. If nothing else, she needed to check on Rusty. Sharon pressed her lips against his ear. "Behave," she murmured. "I love you," she breathed. Then with some reluctance, she slipped off the bed. She smoothed her hand down her sweater and jeans and then straightened her hair. The note was still held in one hand.

"I'll send Nicole and Mark back after they've eaten," she promised. Sharon felt badly for having monopolized him for so long. Although she hated to leave him, even for a few minutes, his children needed to sit with him too.

"You do that." Provenza stated. "Get some fresh air while you're at it," he suggested. It might do her good, although he doubted it. He waited until she left before he shook his head. "Well," he stated at length. "This is a fine mess you've gotten us into." He didn't expect a response, of course, but he sighed just the same, and the monitors in the room beeped on.

Sharon stopped into a restroom to splash water on her face before she returned to the waiting room, and took a moment to fix some of the damage her crying had done to her makeup. Afterward she rejoined the rest of the team and Andy's family. She spotted Rusty speaking quietly with Buzz and walked over to join them. "Hey," she laid a hand on his arm and sank into the empty chair on his other side. "Okay?"

Rusty blinked at her, a little bewildered, but nodded. "Yeah, don't worry about me, Sharon. Really." He tilted his head at her and despite all her efforts, he could see that she had been crying. "How is Flynn?"

"Still no change," she said quietly. "I'm not sure what that means. I think it's good that he hasn't gotten any worse, but if he doesn't begin to improve soon…" Sharon shrugged and smiled a bit sadly. "I just don't know, Rusty."

He nodded quietly. "I'm sorry, Sharon."

She lay a hand on his arm. "Me too."

"So," Rusty swallowed hard. "We got the salad you like, and some soup." He got up and walked over to the table at one end of the room where they'd put the food. When he returned, he had the salad and soup, and a cup of tea. "I didn't think you'd feel up to coffee right now."

"Thank you, honey." Sharon reached for it. She placed the salad aside and decided to focus her attention on the soup and tea. "Rusty," she looked up at him again, concerned. "If you'd like to go and sit with him, I doubt very much that Lieutenant Provenza would mind the company."

The boy shifted awkwardly and finally shook his head. "No," he decided. "I'm okay here. Maybe later." He was less comfortable leaving her than he was going to sit with the injured Lieutenant. He would go, maybe, when he felt like leaving Sharon alone was okay to do. "So, like, Jack left," he pointed out, in case she had missed it. "He said he would check in with you later, but thought you might feel less awkward if he wasn't around."

She nodded quietly. She hadn't thought about him at all after leaving the waiting room. He was probably right. She found that she couldn't really stomach the soup, but forced enough of it down that she wouldn't have Rusty hovering over her with more food later. Then she sat back with her tea. Sharon tipped her head back and closed her eyes. The waiting was always the hardest part. Waiting for him to live. To die. Just waiting.

Sharon reached up and closed her hand around the pendant. She thought of the note, safely tucked away in her purse. If he would just come back to her, she would give him anything.


	6. Chapter 6

Return to Me

by Kadi

Rated T

Disclaimer: If only they were mine… Sadly, they are not. I'm only borrowing them for a time, I promise to return them!

**Chapter 6 - Love****'****s Interlude**

Rusty peered nervously into the sauce pan where chopped onions and garlic cloves were beginning to sauté. "Won't that make it too strong?" He liked onions and garlic as much as the next person, but it _smelled_ awfully strong to him. He glanced over at the Lieutenant, who stood at the counter nearby, quickly chopping other vegetables to join these.

Andy smirked. "Trust me kid. You're going to love it." The knife in his hand moved swiftly, easily, through green bell peppers. He paused, only for a moment, to reach over and stir the mixture in the sauce pan. He let it sizzle against the sides of the pan, and then reached for a glass bottle on the shelf above the stove. Andy splashed olive oil into the pan and stirred it again. Then he went back to chopping.

"You didn't even measure that!" Rusty's eyes widened. Then, he really thought about it. "You're not measuring anything." He took a step back from the stove and considered whether or not he wanted to order a pizza after all. Usually when the Lieutenant stayed at the condo they ordered out, or Sharon cooked. Or he came really late and was gone before breakfast, as if Rusty didn't know he was ever there. They were so not slick. They thought they were, but they weren't. He'd had them figured out from the first.

The lieutenant chuckled. "Look kid, go sit down. Try not to freak out, okay? I promise I know what I'm doing." Andy shook his head and lifted the cutting board. He swept chopped bell peppers into the pan with practiced ease and stirred. They were waiting for Sharon to join them. She had a couple of stops to make, most notably at the cleaners. Andy almost laughed outright when he recalled the look on her face when he, jokingly, asked her to pick up his while she was at it. For just a second he thought Julio might get his own beanbag souvenir, but then she rolled her eyes at him and ordered him out of her office.

He moved around his kitchen almost blindly. What he reached for, he found without looking. It was just as simple and innate as breathing. Andy hadn't changed after getting home, but he had tossed aside his suit jacket and removed his tie. He stood in trousers and a light green dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. As he opened a can of fire roasted tomatoes, he popped a toothpick in his mouth and chewed on it. He stirred in freshly chopped tomatoes and kept the amount of canned sauce that he used at a minimum, just enough to keep it moist and not too chunky.

Andy worked the toothpick around in his mouth and reached over to stir the onions, peppers, and garlic again. Then he went back to chopping. His knife slid through a length of fresh zucchini and then he chopped it in small chunks. He was just tossing it into the saucepan when he heard the front door open. Andy stepped back from the stove and craned his head to see into the living room. He smiled at the sight of Sharon walking into his small bungalow, her dry-cleaning thrown over her arm and grocery bag in hand. He watched her drop her keys on the table near the door and then she walked over and toed out of her heels, leaving them beneath the end table next to his couch, where they usually lay when she was at his place. It was something he could definitely get used to. "Hey," he tossed a crooked grin at her and pulled the toothpick out of his mouth. "We were starting to think you ditched us."

She chuckled quietly. "No, traffic. Then I decided to stop by the store too." She draped the plastic enclosed dry-cleaning over the back of a chair and then walked toward him, grocery bag and another item still in hand. Sharon lifted his dry-cleaning, the hanger suspended from two fingers, and tilted her head at him. There was a half smile playing at her lips. "Since you asked so nicely dear," she drawled, in a too sweet tone.

He snorted as he reached for it and laughed. "Aww, thanks honey," he replied in kind. Andy leaned toward her and dropped a kiss to her upturned mouth. "I really was joking," he added.

"I know." Sharon smirked at him. "I was already there." They used the same place, it was near divisional headquarters. "Something smells good."

"Don't let it fool you." Rusty shook his head where he sat on the sofa, laptop perched on his legs, remote in hand. "He says he's cooking. I don't buy it."

"I don't measure anything," Andy explained, watching her puzzled look morph into amusement. "Obviously I have no idea what I'm doing. It isn't as if I've been doing this for… a lot of years." He tossed his dry-cleaning over the same chair she had hers.

"_A lot_," Rusty muttered with a small grin.

"Watch it." Andy rolled his eyes at the teenager. "What's that?" He gestured toward the shopping bag in her hand.

"Oh, just a little something I thought we might need." Sharon sashayed around him into the kitchen. She stopped to peer at the stove and hummed in approval. Then she walked over to the small butcher block table in the corner and upended the bag. Several bags of chips tumbled out onto its surface. When she turned, Andy was right behind her. She folded the canvas grocery bag and slapped it against his chest. "Just to save me a trip later."

When she lifted her chin into the air and sauntered around him, Andy grabbed her arm and pulled her back. He was laughing when his head lowered. "Yeah, but you didn't get the pretzels." His arms circled her waist and he drew her against him. "We'll have to work on that." His dark eyes were dancing. "Had a feeling you wouldn't let that one go."

"Hmm." Her lips pursed. "It deserved special attention." Her lashes fluttered. "Guess you'll have to think of another way to get rid of the girlfriend when she won't shut up during the game."

"Yeah?" He caught her lips in a slow kiss. "That seems to work," he rumbled.

"I don't know." Her head tilted. "Maybe you should try again. I wasn't convinced."

Her eyes were glittering. Andy's hands slid up her sides and he pulled her flush against him. His head dropped again. He drew her bottom lip between his and teased it. Then he slanted his mouth over hers and let a hand rise up to cup the back of her head as he tilted it back, while he did a thorough exploration of her mouth.

"Oh god." Rusty groaned where he sat. He was starting to wonder if he should have taken his chances with Jack. He had only agreed to come along on this little sleepover because she was so worried that Jack might bother him. Not that he would hurt him or anything, but make him uncomfortable. Rusty felt fairly sure he could handle it, or ignore it at the very least. He didn't have to let him into the apartment if he showed up. He was there to put her mind at ease. He should have known that was going to mean watching the old people hornfest. Not that he didn't want Sharon to be happy, she was, and he liked that. Still, he didn't have to _see_ it.

"You don't wanna see it," Andy called. "Don't look. Simple as that kid."

Sharon pushed him away and shook her head. "You made your point, we'll discuss it later," she told Andy. "What are you making?" She moved quickly away from him before he could reach for her again.

"Lasagna." Andy walked over and stirred both sauce pans. The vegetables were sautéing nicely.

"_Vegetarian_ lasagna," Rusty felt it was important to point out. "What kind of weirdo doesn't eat meat?" He glanced over from where he sat, only just managing to suppress a smirk.

Andy looked skyward before he rolled his eyes toward him. "What kind of weirdo eats burgers?" He pointed a finger at him. "You complain, you starve."

"Nah," Rusty chirped. "Sharon brought chips."

"Boys." The woman shook her head. She went to the fridge and found a bottled juice. "Behave," she scolded gently. While she was delighted they got along so well, they could be a bit… much, at times.

Boy and Man glanced at one another, then pointed at each other. "He started it," they said.

Sharon moaned quietly. "I'm going to go change." She retrieved her purse and the dry-cleaning and made her way toward Andy's bedroom. The bungalow was small, but it wasn't oppressively tiny. It was bigger than her apartment. The living room and kitchen were well appointed, and Andy had a separate dining room that he didn't use, since he lived alone. It was a three bedroom, two bath, but the third bedroom was so tiny that Andy had turned it into a small office. Luckily, though, the master bed and bath were at the very back of the house, and the office and a second bathroom stood between it and the guest room that Rusty would be staying in. She knew that Rusty would feel more comfortable if he was more removed from anything he might _hear _later.

Once inside the bedroom, Sharon dropped her purse on the dresser. She stored both their things in the closet and found that he'd dropped his jacket and tie on the foot of the bed. She shook her head as she lifted them and placed them on a hanger, which she hung on the inside of the closet door, to take to the cleaners later. Then she began removing her clothes in favor of wearing something more comfortable. She placed her gun and badge on the dresser, near his, and shrugged out of her blazer.

She remembered when Andy bought the bungalow, some nine years ago. He had grown tired of living in an apartment, dealing with the noise of others when he was trying to sleep. As police officers they got little enough sleep as it was at times. Being kept awake by thoughtless neighbors just made it more difficult. He wanted to get away from that. She remembered that he'd also had hope that he'd repair his relationship with his kids enough that the extra rooms would be put to use.

After he moved in they started spending an awful lot of time there. It was closer to Parker Center than her condo. It made it easier to… be together, in the days when their association had only been about sex and little else. Sharon hung her blazer in the closet and slipped out of her dress. In a drawer in his bureau she found a pair of her yoga pants and a fitted t-shirt. She hung the dress on the back of the closet drawer and then made her way slowly back down the hall to the outer rooms.

She was as familiar with Andy's home as she was her own, given how long they'd known each other and had been involved. It was only these past several months, however, that either of them had crossed that line of keeping their belongings at the other's residence. They'd have never dreamed of it before. There was a time when casual had worked quite well for both of them. People changed. They had changed. It wasn't only Andy who wanted more.

When she returned, Sharon found Rusty enthralled in an online chess game, and Andy standing at the stove stirring a single sauce pan. He glanced up when she joined him. She moved easily beneath his arm and planted her body against his side. When his arm curled around her, she hummed quietly. He'd added the vegetables to the sauce, she noticed, and was now letting it simmer and come together. "Can I help?"

He had another toothpick in his mouth. "Nah," Andy's hand slipped down her back. "It's a process, you know. It's just gotta simmer now, then I'll do the rest." But he didn't want it to scorch, so he stirred it slowly. He glanced down at her, tucked against him. In her bare feet, her head fit just beneath his chin. Even now, after all this time, it struck him as odd when he realized just how tiny she was. She was, right down to her reputation, larger than life in her professional realm. Sometimes he marveled that she was with him at all. Andy reached up and tugged the toothpick out of his mouth. He never would have pegged them, that's for damned sure.

She felt his eyes on her and looked up at him. The emotion in those dark depths had excitement curling through her. "What?"

"Nothing." He lowered his head and brushed a light kiss across the tip of her nose. "Just glad you're here," he rumbled quietly.

A smile curved her lips. Sharon tipped her face up and pressed a kiss against the corner of his mouth. "Me too," she murmured. Her eyes slowly closed when he drew a slow, languid kiss from her lips. She hummed quietly against his mouth, but drew away from him before it could become too heated, mindful of Rusty's presence just a few yards away. Sharon busied herself setting the table.

Andy watched her out of the corner of his eye. When she bent over the table, he stuck the toothpick back in his mouth and grinned. Yeah, he could get used to having her around alright.

While the lasagna was in the oven, Andy had gone to change, wanting to get rid of the day and get more comfortable. He returned in an old, blue t-shirt and a pair of jeans. "Kid, you're in charge," He called, "don't let it burn." Then he dropped an arm around his girl's shoulders and walked outside with her.

It was a quiet neighborhood, older, most of the bungalows, like his, had been built in the twenties and thirties. There was a nice, eclectic mix of residents though. A few houses down they heard kids playing in the yard, and across the street, an elderly neighbor walked her dog. As they walked along the sidewalk, a patrol car pulled into a drive two houses down. The officer getting out lifted a hand in greeting, before going inside on his dinner break. "About the only person in traffic I like," Andy muttered.

Sharon snickered quietly and nudged his side. "Trust me, traffic doesn't like you either. Neither does narcotics. I've written entire briefs on the subject." She tipped her head back and smiled up at him, eyes sparkling in the dim lighting of the fading day. It was going to be a clear night, and with the setting of the sun, it was cooling.

"Yeah?" He smirked. "Well, someone had to keep you busy. I know how you get when you're bored. Bad things happen."

"Is that a fact?" Her eyes narrowed, her lips pursed. "How exactly do I get when I am bored, Lieutenant?"

"You start auditing unsuspecting divisions," he drawled. "Hanging around all the time. Wearing short skirts…"

"Ah," she nodded slowly. "I suppose it's a good thing you don't have to worry about that anymore, you poor thing."

"Yeah," he drawled. "Now I don't have to wait for you to swing by on your broom to see the legs. Just gotta lean back and glance into the office. Life is good." He grunted when she elbowed him and drew her closer into his side with a laugh.

"It would serve you right if I started wearing pants every day," she huffed, a mix of annoyance and amusement, mostly the latter.

"I guess." Andy just shrugged. "I like taking those off you to, so…" When she went to pull away from him in exasperation, he tugged her around until she stood in front of him. His hands moved to cup her jaw and he tilted her head back. Andy bent and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. A street lamp flickered on overhead and it slowly he let it deepen. His thumbs stroked the length of her jaw, the familiar curves of her cheek, while he let his mouth linger. It was a slow heat that swept over them. Burning embers, rather than all consuming. They'd had moments of that, surely, but it was the slow burn that stole his breath, made his heart beat more quickly.

Her hands moved just beneath the hem of his shirt to rest at his sides. Her fingers slid over warm skin as they moved to his back. She leaned more fully into him as she rocked up on her toes, body dragging against his in a way that had her humming against his mouth in approval.

Andy groaned quietly and mindful that they were standing on the sidewalk, he pulled himself away from her mouth. His lips followed the path of his fingers as they moved along her jaw. He nuzzled her cheek, and his tongue traced the curve of her ear. "Been wanting to do that all day," he told her.

"Hm." Her hands left his shirt. Her eyes were still closed. She pressed her forehead against the side of his jaw for a moment, while she drew a breath and let herself settle again. Her hands rested against his chest, fingers still tingling from the heat of his skin, but she focused on the softness of his t-shirt instead. "You wouldn't be alone in that," she finally said, in a low, thick voice.

He kissed the tip of her nose, then her forehead before he finally drew away. This time, he took her hand, holding it as they resumed their walk. "Did you call Gavin?" He asked quietly, he didn't want to bring up the unpleasantness of that afternoon, but knew that it was inevitable.

"I did." She glanced up at him, a soft smile at her lips. "Jack can contest, protest, and make as big a fool of himself as he'd like. It was as I told him, it's happening. We were separated long enough that there just isn't anything he can do to stop or delay it. Our children are grown, and we don't share any community property. The separation saved me from that, which was exactly why I did it to begin with." She hadn't wanted Jack's creditors to come after her for his continuing debts, not after she worked so hard to pay off the original onslaught. "Sixty to ninety days, and then I'm a free woman."

"Hm." His arm moved around her shoulders again and he drew her close. "I like the sound of that," he rumbled against her ear, and kissed the side of her head.

"So do I." Surprisingly, she did. Whatever guilt, regret, and responsibility she felt for Jack that had always stayed her hand when it came to taking the final step toward divorce had finally faded away. She no longer felt the need to save him, hadn't for some time. There was something else in her life now.

"Then we go public," He ventured carefully. That was supposed to be the plan, at least in his mind. Once she was divorced this, _them_, wouldn't be a secret any longer.

"We do," she agreed with a smile. Sharon's arm snaked around his waist. She felt him relax and hadn't realized how important that was to him. She leaned into his side. "I'll report us, and then you're taking me on an actual date."

"Bossy." Andy smirked. "You know, I might want to actually ask you out."

"Oh," she grinned. "Well, we're not official yet. You've got some time to work on it. Surprise me."

"Lady, you're on." He grinned.

She chuckled. "What about your partner?" That was of particular concern. There were people who would not be pleased at the change in this relationship.

"He'll get used to it." Andy shrugged. He frowned. That was going to be interesting. He foresaw several unpleasant lectures in his future.

"If he doesn't?" She looked up at him with some concern.

Andy sighed. "Sharon, don't borrow trouble. He'll get over it. He doesn't control my personal life. I'm in this. Nothing is going to change that." He bent down to press a kiss against her ear. "I'm not going anywhere," he promised. "He can huff and he can puff, and I am still going to love you."

With a smile, she leaned up to brush a kiss across his mouth. "Me too," she said quietly.

They made the turn at the end of the street that would take them around and back up the street behind his house. It was a familiar route, one they'd walked before. Soon, it wouldn't only be his neighborhood and her foster son that knew them as a couple. There was light on the horizon.

Much later, well after dinner had been consumed and cleaned up, Andy joined her in his bedroom. He leaned against the door, took a moment to marvel at how at ease she was in his space. She stood with her hair pulled over her shoulder, a soft, lavender nightgown draping her body while she rubbed lotion into her hands.

His eyes wandered the length of the night gown, it barely reached mid thigh, and left the long expanse of her legs for him to admire. And admire them he did. There was a time when he'd made a study out of trying to attract younger women. He had, and it was always a boost to his ego. Somehow he always ended up coming back to this one. There was something about her that he found far more lovely, more breathtaking.

Andy pushed away from the door and quietly closed it behind him. He crossed the space between them in three easy strides and let his arms slide around her waist as he pulled her back against his chest. "I like having you right _here_," he said quietly, as his lips fell to her shoulder in a gentle caress.

Her lips curved and she leaned back against him. Her head rested against his shoulder. "I like being right here," she replied, and tilted her head for him when his lips moved inward to her neck. His hands splayed across her stomach, one of them slowly moving upward. "Andy," she sighed his name. "He's still awake."

"You can be quiet." His teeth scraped across her pulse point, made her shiver.

"Hm. What about you?" She drew a breath when he found the sensitive spot that never failed to get him a response.

"I'm going to be busy," he rumbled. He slid a hand down her front, until his fingers were trailing over the soft skin of her inner thigh. It drew another quiet, shuddering breath from her, even as he drew that hand slowly back up, beneath the light material of her nightgown. His fingers danced teasingly over the scrap of lace that still separated her from his questing hand, and then higher still until his fingers encountered the warm, bare skin of her stomach.

When she pulled away from him and turned, there was a teasing glint in her eyes. She was backing slowly toward the bed, but her fingers caught the hem of his t-shirt, and she tugged, pulling him with her. Her hands moved beneath it, then slid upward, taking it with them until she was pushing the t-shirt over his head and tossing it aside. "I think you're going to be very busy," she drawled.

Andy decided that he liked the sound of that. He pulled her back against him and lowered his head, he caught her mouth in a long, languid kiss that steadily grew more heated. The slow burn. He was going to let it consume them both.

Later, they lay tangled in his bed. His t-shirt was now covering her body. She had a thing about his shirts that he just didn't seem to mind. There was a reason he'd taken to wearing the green dress shirt more often. He liked it on her best. For now, the t-shirt would suffice.

One of her legs was draped across both of his, and his hand stroked her thigh. The other was buried in her hair, slowly stroking her scalp. She would still be nude if not for the kid. As his hand slid beneath the hem of his t-shirt, he decided he didn't mind. Lips at his neck had his mouth sliding into a grin. "Hm," he grunted, but didn't bother to open his eyes. She had gotten her revenge, he was well spent.

She chuckled quietly. "Poor Andy, so abused," she drawled.

"Yeah, that's me." He smirked. "Abused." His fingers traced a path down her thigh again. "Good thing I like the abuse you're handing out, lady."

She wriggled closer and lay her head against his shoulder. "Indeed." Her hand moved over his chest, nails running lightly through a sparse coat of chest hair. "Andy."

"Yeah." He stroked the curve of her hip.

Sharon pressed her lips against his skin. "Love you," she said.

His head rolled, he slanted a look at her. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Me too, sweetheart, me too." He felt her settle against him again and the hand in her hair moved down to drape around her shoulders. He stroked her back, and not until he felt her grow slack did he let his own eyes close.


	7. Chapter 7

Return to Me

by Kadi

Rated T

Disclaimer: If only they were mine… Sadly, they are not. I'm only borrowing them for a time, I promise to return them!

**Chapter 7 - Breathe Into Me**

Sharon was sitting with Andy again when the nurse came in, pushing a computer console on a stand. There was a tray attached, on which a fresh IV and a syringe of medication lay. Sharon was curled in the chair beside his bed and leaned back as the Nurse moved around to his other side. The syringe and fresh IV bag were in hand. Sharon tilted her head speculatively. Her brows drew together. "What are you giving him?" She asked curiously, carefully.

"Morphine," she replied, checking the IV and hanging the new one. She made the switch easily. "Keeping his pain levels down help with his vitals. We don't want to overtax the heart."

Sharon sat up, quickly. "He can't have that." How much had they given him already? Her heart twisted painfully. Why hadn't she questioned it before now? "There should be a note in his file, no narcotics."

The Nurse, whose badge read Samantha, frowned at her. This was not the same nurse from earlier, the shift change had taken care of that. "I'm sorry, I was under the impression that the family was overseeing his care. Who are you?"

She felt as stricken as she knew she must look. No, she supposed, she wasn't family. "We're close," she stated instead. "Andy and I have been involved for several years, I can tell you that he wouldn't want narcotics put into his system." Her eyes narrowed with her rising ire. "Check the file," she snapped, as though dealing with an errant suspect or rookie.

Samantha sighed in exasperation. "Alright." She walked around and called up the patient's file and chart on the monitor. "There's nothing here. The family okayed his treatment plan." 

"We'll see about that." Sharon reached for her phone. Nicole and Mark were back in the waiting room. "Nicole, honey, can you come back here?"

Nicole had been dozing quietly when her phone vibrated in her pocket. She sat up at seeing who the caller was. "Sharon? Is there a problem, is dad okay." Her stomach churned. "Did something happen?"

"No, there hasn't been a change. There's some confusion with the nurse." She glared at the woman as she spoke.

"Oh." Nicole breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry. I guess there might be. I'll be right there." She had forgotten that the medical staff might question why Sharon was present, or why she would have questions about his condition. She slid her phone back in her pocket and looked up to find the others watching her. "The medical staff has questions… It's… " She glanced at the teenager who was watching her so closely. Nicole smiled gently. She didn't know him well, or at all, really. Their two families weren't exactly blended. Not yet, she supposed. "Everything is okay," she said for his benefit.

Back inside the ICU, Sharon disconnected her phone and leaned back in her seat a moment later. "Let's put it to his daughter."

When Nicole arrived, just a few minutes later, she had Mark with her. Andy's children stepped into the room and looked between the exasperated nurse and his glowering girlfriend. Nicole stepped forward, moving to the foot of her father's bed. "What's going on?"

Sharon sighed as she stood. "Morphine," she said simply. "Your father wouldn't want narcotics in his system, Nicole. I didn't think of it sooner, that's my fault."

"Okay," Mark spoke slowly. "I don't get it. We don't want him to be in pain?"

"Damn." Nicole sighed. She hadn't thought of it either. Now she realized what Sharon was saying, and glanced at her brother. "No, Mark, we don't. But dad… you know?"

Mark's realization was a little slower in coming. His eyes widened. "Crap. The whole recovery thing." He looked at the nurse, who wasn't following them. "Our dad is an alcoholic. He's been sober…"

"Sixteen years," Sharon supplied quietly. "It's been sixteen, almost seventeen years now. He takes his sobriety very seriously. Is there something else we can try?" She reached down and stroked his arm with the backs of her fingers. She glanced at his children, saw their guilt. "There should have been something in his file, he's been injured before." Although never this severely. She wondered if she was overstepping. Sharon shrugged at them. "It's up to you. I can't… I'm not…" Her jaw clenched. "I only know that he's refused it in the past."

Nicole turned to her brother. Why was this so hard? Neither of them had been prepared for making these kinds of decisions. Their father had been on the periphery of their lives for so long, it wasn't simple, even now that he was more involved. "Mark?"

"I don't know Nicky." He shrugged helplessly. "If he doesn't want it, then he doesn't want it. We can't exactly ask him," he added quietly.

With a sigh, Nicole turned back to study her father. She chewed on her lip while she considered their options. "Let's…" She hesitated. "Let's do something else," she decided at last. "At least until we can ask him."

"I'll have to call his treating physician," The nurse told them. "Get approval to change his medication." She checked his vitals, recorded the results. "We can delay his pain medication until we get a response."

Nicole nodded quietly. "Thank you." She folded her arms over her chest. "Also," She glanced at Sharon, whose gaze had not wavered from her father. "I want you to add my dad's girlfriend to the list of authorized decision makers, or whatever you call it. She gets information, she grants consent."

Sharon looked up, eyes wide with surprise. "Nicole, you really don't have to do—"

"Yes," she said. "I do. I owe you an apology for not already doing it. I'm sorry, Sharon. It just didn't occur to me that they wouldn't let you make decisions for dad. In a lot of ways, you know him better than we do." She glanced at the nurse again. "Okay?"

"I'll make note." The nurse finished entering the information in the chart, pausing to get the woman's full name, and then withdrew from the room.

After she was gone, Sharon sighed quietly. "Thank you." She shook her head. "I'm sorry if—"

"Don't be." Nicole's hand rested against the plastic of the footboard. "I guess it's important that we think about what dad would want, not just what he needs."

Since they were waiting for the doctor to approve a medication change, the intensive care nurses said nothing about the room being temporarily overcrowded. Twenty minutes after the change was requested, a Doctor stepped into the room, the nurse behind him.

He moved through the small room, to the opposite side of the bed where the wires and leads extended to the many machines monitoring and keeping him alive. His gaze swept first his patient, and then the family. "I'm doctor Mattheson," he explained, for the woman he hadn't spoken to before. It was the children he had conferred with following the surgery. "Since we're talking about changing the Lieutenant's medication, I think it's important that we also discuss next steps."

He had their attention now. Sharon's fingers slid inward along Andy's wrist, circling it loosely. She glanced at Nicole as she moved nearer to her, Mark replacing her at the foot of the bed. She drew a breath when neither of them spoke and turned her attention on the doctor. "What does that mean?" She asked.

The doctor gauged the room quickly. The children were deferring to the girlfriend. He made a mental note of that and focused his attention primarily on her. "It's been twelve hours," He stated. "We're halfway through the critical twenty-four hour period. There hasn't been any change, and that's good. Here's the problem, the longer he stays on the vent, the harder it is going to be to take him off of it." He indicated the officer's body, the dressings which covered his torso from midline toward his left side. "The first bullet entered here," he indicated the space between the fifth and sixth intercostals, "with its downward trajectory, it damaged the spleen which we removed, and nicked the descending aorta. That damage was repaired. The second bullet, that one was a little less serious. He was already falling at the time it hit him. That damage was muscular, and we repaired it too. Still, his body's had quite a shock. The strain on his heart during surgery was considerable. It's why we didn't take him off the vent afterward. He's had time to rest since then, and I think that it's important that we remove it before his body can become dependent upon it."

Sharon glanced at her lover's children and easily read the question in their eyes. "What are the risks," she voiced, letting her attention move back to the doctor. "If we remove the vent and his body isn't prepared to breathe on its own…"

Mattheson paused, he considered his words very carefully. "Then we put him back on it and we discuss the possibility of making some very hard decisions." He looked at each of them before letting his gaze move back to the woman nearest his patient. "His brain activity is good. That isn't in question, but if his body will not breathe on its own, then we'll need to talk about extended care options. We're not there yet," he assured them. "We'd try to ween him off it more slowly before we start those conversations."

She looked to Nicole and Mark again. "I won't make this decision alone," she said gently. "I think he'd want you both to weigh in as well."

"Maybe." Nicole smiled gently at her. "But dad loves you. I think he'd be okay with your choice." She chewed on the inside of her lip. "I know what I want, but I'm not sure that I know how to do what's best for him."

"Yeah." Mark agreed and let out a ragged sigh.

Her heart twisted painfully. Sharon nodded. "Okay." She turned her attention back to the doctor and considered him. Her gaze dropped to Andy. Her hand gently stroked his arm. "Remove it," She said. "He's strong. Stubborn even. He won't disappoint me."

The doctor nodded. "Alright then. We'll need you to step out. One of the nurses will come for you when we've finished."

Anxiety seized her heart at the thought of leaving him. Sharon leaned over the side of the bed and let her lips linger against his cheek. "I won't go far," she promised quietly. When she leaned back, she glanced a bit bashfully at his children before she gathered her purse and stepped out of the way so that they could have a moment with him before they returned to the waiting room.

When the three of them returned to the waiting room together, expectant faces turned toward them. Sharon sank into a chair on Rusty's other side, where he sat with Lieutenant Provenza. "They're taking him off the vent," she said.

"Then what happens?" Rusty looked at her, eyes filled with worry.

"We wait." Sharon shrugged. "It's all about the waiting."

"But that's good right," The teenager asked. He glanced between the two adults on either side of him. "Taking him off the vent, that's a good thing?"

"We don't know," Sharon smiled sadly. "They have to try it so that he doesn't become dependent on it. We're not going to know until it's done."

"He'll be alright." Provenza tapped the boy's arm. "Stubborn jackass. He doesn't know when to give up or stop. Case and point," He nodded toward the Captain.

Rusty nodded, he would agree with that. "Can I get you something," He asked quietly.

"No," she reached out and touched his arm, briefly. "Thank you, though." Sharon leaned back in her seat and let her head tip back against the wall behind her. Her eyes closed and she sighed quietly. Never had she felt more weary. It wasn't only fatigue, though, that had every muscle and joint in her body aching. She was adrift. She felt as though a part of her was missing, and she supposed that it was. She had known that she loved him, she never realized that she needed him so much.

She prided herself on always thinking that she was not a woman who needed a partner to feel complete. She lived alone for a long time, raised her children alone. When she felt the need for a partner, she had one, and she kept it casual. That was how Andy had come into her life to begin with. Then, somehow, he managed to sneak into her heart.

Sharon still didn't feel as though she _needed_ a partner to survive. No, that was something she would do anyway. Her children needed her, and she was well accustomed with putting them at the center of her life, of turning her attention on family and career.

Without Andy she would simply feel empty. There would be a coldness in her that nothing else could touch. She exhaled quietly again and fought the moisture behind her eyes. It would be a loneliness that she hadn't realized she felt until Andy filled that part of her life, chased it away. The heart ached. The pain radiated dully through the rest of her body. _Come back to me_, she thought. Her eyes opened and she gazed toward his children. _Come back to us_.

On the wall in the mostly silent waiting room, a clock ticked slowly. The sound seemed to echo in the room. Seconds and minutes, passing by while they waited for news. It dragged by until frustration at the slowly moving moments began to build. Mark stood to pace, hands in his pockets. Sharon was struck by how much like his father he was, and wondered if he knew.

She was thinking about the similarities when the nurse, Samantha, stepped into the room. Her eyes circled the room. She spotted the family and started toward them. "You can come back," she told them. "We're done." She paused, then added with a small smile, "he's breathing on his own."

"See." Provenza grunted. "Stubborn."

Sharon smiled at him. "Well, he wouldn't dream of leaving you on your own."

From where he sat, Rusty was nodding slowly. "The bromance must live on."

Sharon snorted and chuckled quietly. "Yes, although I never quite thought of it like that."

Provenza grunted at them. "I'll remember this."

She was sure that he would. Sharon leaned forward in her seat. "Go ahead," she told Mark and Nicole. "I can wait. I think I should keep an eye on these two anyway. I've left them unattended long enough as it is."

"We won't be long." Nicole said, but smiled gratefully as she and Mark made to follow the nurse.

"Take your time," Sharon glanced at the teenager and Lieutenant. "They need supervision." She wanted the opportunity to coax Rusty into going back with her. After he'd seen Andy, she would send him home. She didn't want him spending another full day at the hospital, he'd already been there all night.

Rusty looked at the Lieutenant. "_We_ need supervision, but she's been naughty. Explain that one?"

"Hypocrisy," he stated. "That is what we call hypocrisy, my boy." Provenza tilted his head. "It could also be said that we might have been a bad influence on her. She never broke any rules before."

"That you know of," Rusty said.

"True," he nodded. "But unlikely."

"The argument could be made that you've been a _good_ influence on her," Rusty said.

"No doubt by many people, far and wide," Provenza snorted.

"Oh god," Sharon groaned quietly and closed her eyes again. She thought that Rusty and Andy could be a bit much, it was nothing compared to the teenager and older Lieutenant. Perhaps it was simply time to admit that she was outnumbered, by all the men in her life.

Rusty slanted a look at her. He supposed that annoying her was better than seeing her look so lost. He leaned back in his chair and nudged her shoulder. When she opened her eyes and looked at him, he flashed a small smile. "Are you sure you don't need anything?"

She nodded and hummed. "I'm sure, honey. But I think you've been here too long. When Mark and Nicole get back, I'd like you to go with me for a few minutes. Then I want you to go home," her brows lifted, she gave him a pointed look. "Shower, sleep, then if you want to come back you can, but I would really like for you to get away from here for a little while, Rusty."

He frowned at her. "Sharon, what about you? I don't want to leave you here by yourself, and you know, what if something happens?" He shifted in his seat, he didn't want to come out and say it, but what if something changed and he wasn't there. What if he missed it? Or she needed him. "I think I should stay—"

"No," Sharon smiled gently at him. "Rusty, please?" Her fingers slid across the arm of her chair to brush his arm. "I don't want to have to worry about you too," she said. "I'll be fine. I'm not ready to leave yet." Her head tilted and she tried a different tactic. "Maybe when you came back later this afternoon, you could bring food from the cafe near the apartment. That place we both like?"

He sighed, knowing when he was beaten. Rusty nodded. "Yeah, okay. I'll go." He paused. "After I see him?" He was nervous about that.

"After," she agreed, and touched his arm again before leaning back to close her eyes once more.

On his other side, the Lieutenant tapped his arm. Rusty glanced toward him and sighed when the man nodded. Yep, he was definitely beaten. If he didn't go, he'd have both of them to deal with. That was never of the good. Rusty decided it was just as well, he'd bring Sharon a change of clothes, and maybe run an errand or two for the Lieutenant while he was at it. Someone had to keep an eye on them. Buzz had gone home to shower but would be back soon, Rusty resolved to ask him what else he should do. For now, it was still all about the waiting.


	8. Chapter 8

Return to Me

by Kadi

Rated T

Disclaimer: If only they were mine… Sadly, they are not. I'm only borrowing them for a time, I promise to return them!

**Chapter 8 - Bridging the Gap**

Andy fell instep alongside Sharon as they walked the three blocks from where the team tended to park their cars to the downtown building where their headquarters now resided. He missed the attached garage at Parker Center. These days, the parking garage, was reserved for visitors and brass. He knew that Sharon could have gotten away with parking there. She didn't.

He held out the cup of coffee he'd stopped for, and a paper pastry bag. "You left early," he observed, somewhat casually. She hadn't exactly snuck out, she did wake him to let him know she was going.

She smiled her thanks as she took both items. "I wanted to swing by the apartment, make sure Jack wasn't camped outside my door."

"Add another shirt to your growing collection," Andy teased with a grin. She hadn't done more than run a brush through her hair and pull on her yoga pants before leaving that morning.

Sharon snickered. "Of course." It was now draped across the foot of her bed. She had showered and dressed at home. "Rusty has an appointment with Doctor Joe this morning, those always leave him a little raw. I didn't want him to have to deal with Jack when he got home."

"I get it." Andy smiled down at her. "You had me at making sure he wasn't camped outside the door. Was he?"

"Nope." She grinned. "No complaints from neighbors or super, if he did show up, then he got bored and left without causing too much trouble. So thank you," she said, "for sparing us that."

"Anytime," his hand brushed hers. He would have liked to curl an arm around her, but not here. They were too exposed this close to work. "I mean it, Sharon. I like having you there. I don't mind the kid either."

She chuckled. Of that she knew he was telling the truth. Rusty had become a sort of… third partner in crime for the two older men. It was good for him, she thought, even if she sometimes wondered at the things they were teaching him. "Well," she said at length. "We like being there, Andy." She glanced up at him, eyes shining. "Maybe we'll do it again, when Jack isn't around."

"Yeah, I think that would—" Andy stopped talking and looked beyond her. His brows drew together.

What happened next was a blur of movement and noise. People were screaming, scrambling away. Andy recognized Donald Thompson as he strode toward them, eyes dark and hands in his pockets. When his hand left his pocket and revealed a small revolver, Andy wrapped one arm around Sharon and turned with her, while reaching for his own gun. He was propelling her to the side, putting himself between her and Thompson. He folded his long body around her while his left arm extended, but the bullet impacted. They hadn't even had time to announce themselves before Thompson began firing.

Andy drew Sharon down with him as he fell. The impact of the bullet stole his breath. Fire burned through him. It was a pain like nothing he had ever felt before. His arm hung limply and he tried to lift it, tried to levy his own weapon, but his body wasn't working the way he wanted it to. The pain was too present, his breath wheezed in his chest. Thompson seemed to be firing blindly. Another bullet struck him as they fell, and at least, he thought, if he was otherwise unable to stop him, he could provide a barrier.

The concrete was hard beneath them. Andy landed on top of her and the impact jarred her. There were people running, moving for cover. They cried out in disbelief and alarm. Her hand was already on her own weapon, and she drew it as she rolled to the side, leaning around Andy to eye the man firing upon them. "Drop it Donald," she yelled. He didn't. When he continued toward them, she fired. She double tapped the trigger, hands surprisingly steady, and watched the man jerk and then sink to his knees. The gun fell from his fingers and he tilted, falling to the opposite side.

Sharon continued to watch him. When his eye were unseeing and he stopped moving, she dropped her gun and knelt over the unmoving Lieutenant beside her. "Andy." She rolled him and her hands felt only sticky warmth as they touched his side. Blood was spreading quickly, soaking the tan vest and jacket. "Oh no. Oh god." She found two entry wounds and pressed down, her hands much too small to cover both of them. Her eyes tracked up, toward his face. His eyes were open, filled with pain and watching her. His mouth was open and he was gasping for air. She pressed harder, even as warmth surrounded her hands, leaking out of him. "You're okay," she said. "It's fine. Andy…" His eyes began to close. "No, no, no, Andy… stay with me." There were sirens nearby. They were near enough to headquarters that when she heard footsteps she looked up to see uniformed officers running toward them. She opened her mouth, but one of them beat her two it.

The uniformed officer nearest them pulled the radio from his shoulder. He recognized both of them. "Officer down, we need an ambulance…"

In only moments they were surrounded. Two uniforms took Sharon's place and she was drawn away. Her suit was covered in blood and she was checked for injuries. The ambulance was quick to arrive, and while paramedics worked on Andy, her statement was taken. FID was called. They wouldn't let her go with him. For the first time, she was struck by the ridiculous irony of her own rules.

Most of the team was already inside, but Tao arrived on the scene as he made his way in to work. He called the others, and soon all of Major Crimes was crowded around the scene. "I'm getting my car," Provenza stated.

"I'll drive you," Julio told him, deciding that he was much too shaken to drive himself. "Mike, stay with the Captain. Buzz…" 

"I've got Rusty," he finished for them and drew away to return to his car.

"Good, Amy," Julio looked around and found her. "Call Donald Thompson's parole officer, then go with him to the morgue. Join us at the hospital after Morales takes over." He watched her nod and walk over to join the officers surrounding the body. He turned and his eyes found his Captain. She was surrounded by her former team, looking pale and small, and smeared in the Lieutenant's blood. Julio scowled darkly. They were firing questions at her, and she was answering them, but he didn't like it. Julio strode toward them, he pushed through and interrupted without apology. "Ma'am." He scowled at Elliot, who at least had the good sense to look mildly sheepish. "What do you need?"

She shook her head, not quite understanding the question. "I'm sorry?"

"What do you need," He asked more slowly, more deliberately. She was close to being in shock. He met her gaze, watched hers clear for a moment and breathed a little more easily.

"Go," she told him. "I'll join you as soon as I'm done here. Keep an eye on the Lieutenant," she nodded to the older man. "Could you have someone find Rusty… I don't want him to see this on the news. He'll be worried about all of us…" Worried about her, and Andy, and she didn't want him anymore frightened than necessary.

"We're already on it," Julio assured her. "Buzz is going. Mike will drive you to the hospital when you're done." He glanced at the FID detectives and his scowl returned. "Make it quick," he muttered at Elliot and drew away to join the others.

The blur of questions from her former colleagues was familiar enough. Sharon answered them and then her gun and Andy's were taken for analysis. When FID had finished with her, Sharon joined Mike and let him drive her to the hospital. The team was waiting there when she arrived.

"Anything?" Sharon looked from Provenza to Julio.

"He's in surgery," Provenza explained. "They're trying to fix the damage. He was shot twice, and—"

When he trailed off and shook his head, Julio met her gaze. "It's bad, ma'am."

"I see." She whispered. She pressed a hand against her stomach. "Has anyone called his family?"

"I tried to get Diana, she didn't answer," Provenza said, indicating the ex-wife. "I don't have his daughter's number."

"Okay…" Sharon drew a deep breath and nodded. "Okay." She reached for her own phone and moved quickly through the contacts. In light of the circumstances, secrets and subterfuge no longer matter. "Nicole," her voice shook and she tried to control. Sharon turned away from her people and walked across the ER waiting room. "Honey, it's your dad…"

It was the phone call they always dreaded. Nicole sat down at the tone in the other woman's voice. She swallowed hard. In the back of her mind she always knew it would either be the drinking or the job that would kill him. He had given up the drinking, but not the job. "Is he dead?"

"No," she said softly. "But it's bad. He's at Cedars. They've already taken him in to surgery. You should get here as quickly as you can."

Her jaw clenched. Tears stung her eyes. "I have the boys. I'll need to call Jake first…"

"Do it," Sharon said gently. "It's that bad, Nicole. I'm sorry."

Her voice shook when she replied. "I'll be there as soon as I can arrange it."

"Oh my god, Sharon!" Rusty arrived as she was finishing the call, sliding the phone back into her pocket. Buzz had assured him that she was okay, but the sight of her, suit stained, rocked him.

"I'm okay." She looked beyond him, eyes widening at the sight of Jack following. "Rusty?"

"He was at the apartment when Buzz got there. He insisted on following us," the teenager shrugged.

"What the hell happened," Jack scowled at the sight of her, blood stained and smeared, looking pale and drawn.

Sharon shook her head. Details would follow later, she didn't have the strength to go into it again. All that really mattered was Andy, and waiting for news about his condition. She turned away from them to rejoin the team. "Nicole is going to call Mark," she explained. "As soon as Jake can get home to watch the boys, she'll head this way."

"Good." Provenza's eyes narrowed. "I guess there's a reason she's so convinced the two of you are a couple."

Sharon drew a breath. She let it out slowly. It was on the tip of her tongue to comment on the misunderstanding and how it had been resolved. Instead, she felt herself nodding. "Yes, I suppose that there is," she admitted quietly.

"Ten years worth of reasons," Jack muttered. He had known his wife was sleeping around, and with whom. Although, he wasn't exactly faithful throughout their separation either. He just never realized it had gotten serious. That explained the divorce, she'd moved on, for good this time.

The Lieutenant shook his head in disbelief. He never would have pegged her for the type. Breaking the rules. Well, bending them at the very least. Would wonders never cease. "Huh." It was all he said as he dropped into a chair.

"Yes." She folded her arms over her chest and moved into a chair as well. Her legs felt surprisingly heavy. There was little else that needed to be said, now the waiting began.

"Sharon." Jack drew her attention. His eyes moved to her stained clothes. "Maybe we should get you cleaned up."

"Soon," she said quietly. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth. "I don't want to leave until I know…" If he would live, or if she was going to lose him. She looked away, it was rather awkward. She was still married, and yet, here she was, pining for another man.

Jack sighed quietly. He walked over and tipped her face up. She was pale. There was a wariness in her eyes, like a wounded animal. That she let him touch her was most concerning. She was keeping it together at the moment, but pain and panic would close in on her eventually. She was a strong woman, she was not impenetrable. "Okay," he said, agreeing to let it slide for now. "We'll wait." He shoved his hands into his pockets and moved away. She wouldn't budge. Not until something changed. For now they would wait.

**MCMCMCMCMC**

The afternoon sun was warm. She felt chilled through from being inside the hospital for so long. Sharon stood in the third floor outdoor courtyard. It had once been a smoking space, but turned into a garden when the hospital became a non-smoking campus. Eyes closed she turned her face into the sun. Still, she shivered. It was unlikely it would chase away the chill, even as her skin warmed.

Andy had been breathing on his own for hours now, but it was hard to say if there had been any improvement. Rusty had gone home earlier, to shower and sleep. After he left, Sharon insisted that the rest of the team do the same. They were trading off, taking a few hours to get some rest and clean clothes. She was refusing to leave. She simply wasn't ready yet. Thankfully, no one was pressing her to leave.

"Captain." The quiet voice cut through her thoughts. Sharon turned and found Buzz standing near the door. "They need you upstairs."

"Thank you, Buzz." Sharon let her arms drop and joined him. She shivered again as she stepped inside. He held the door for her as she slipped past him, and she smiled gratefully. "I thought I sent you home," she said.

"No ma'am," He smiled gently. "It was Julio's turn. I went earlier." He ached to see her so rattled. Buzz supposed that with all they'd learned the last day, that was to be expected. "It's okay," He said, when she winced. "I wouldn't be able to keep up either."

Sharon smiled warmly at him. "Well, I do have quite a few of you to keep up with."

"Some of us are more trouble than others," He remarked with a small grin.

"Yes, actually." It was only the distance of a single floor back to the intensive care unit. They opted for the stairs. Her body still ached with fatigue, but oddly the movement felt good.

Buzz guided her up and when they reached the fourth floor, he walked her toward the waiting room. At the corridor across from it, through the doors that separated them from the ICU, he indicated she should go on. "I'll rejoin the others."

"Thank you, Buzz." Sharon moved through the doors and made her way down the short corridor. When she reached Andy's room, she was surprised to see Nicole and Mark inside with Lieutenant Provenza. For just a moment her heart seized in her chest, and she worried that something had happened. Her legs felt heavy as they carried her into the room. "What—" She stopped speaking when her eyes moved first to the bed and she was greeted with a familiar pair of dark eyes.

He was awake.

Something had happened. Not in the way she suspected. It was so much better than that. She exhaled a long, shuddering breath but stood rooted to the spot. His gaze was pained, but he was looking back at her, and never had he been more beautiful to her eyes. When the fingers of his right hand lifted and he muttered a quiet, rasping, "Hey," she jolted and walked toward him.

Sharon moved to his side and lay her trembling hand over his. Her other slid up his arm, to rest against his shoulder for a moment, before she lifted it to stroke his hair. "Hi." Moisture filled her eyes and she pressed her trembling lips into a thin line.

He grunted in response and in pain. His eyes closed again and he swallowed past the sore dryness in his throat. His eyes felt heavy but he forced them open again. He lifted them back to her face, but the sparkling at her neck drew his attention. His brows drew together at the sight of the necklace. "Busted?" He bought it when she told him she filed for divorce, he was waiting to give it to her, carrying it with him in case the right moment presented itself.

"Mmhm." She curled her fingers around it. Sharon bent over the side of the bed, pressed her cheek against his. "Always," she whispered. When she lifted her head, she gazed down at him, saw the pain in his eyes. Her hand cupped his cheek and when she smiled, it lit her eyes. "I know you just woke up, but you really need to rest."

"Some of you need to clear out of here," A new voice said. The nurse, Samantha, was back. Her gaze swept the room. "It's still only two visitors to a patient." She walked around the bed and lifted a syringe to push medication through his IV. "Non-narcotic," she assured the girlfriend. "This is going to take the edge off, Lieutenant," she spoke now to her patient. "If you decide you need something stronger, better run it by this one first."

Andy grunted. His eyes closed again. "Yeah. Bossy."

"Can he have some water," Sharon asked. She could only imagine how he felt after having had that tube down his throat for so long, even if it had been several hours since it was removed.

"He's still NPO, but I'll bring in some ice-chips," the nurse said. "That should help. In the meantime," she glanced around at the visitors. "Figure out who is staying and who is going."

"I need to call Jake," Nicole stated. "I want to give him the good news and check on the boys." She walked over and touched her father's foot. "Welcome back, Dad."

His eyes were already closed again, but he nodded in agreement. "Baby," he mumbled tiredly.

"I'll go too," Mark stated. "We'll be back," he said. "Get some rest, old man." He would help Nicole and their mother make the calls to update the rest of the family.

After they left, Provenza moved to the foot of the bed. "Idiot," he announced, scowling at him. "Do you have any idea what you've put us through?"

Andy forced his eyes open, grunted in response. "No balloon?"

His partner snorted. "Well, it's a girl alright. Don't think we won't be talking about that later." Provenza pointed a finger at him and shook it. "Partners don't keep secrets."

"Uh huh." Andy let his eyes close again. "Go away. Wanna kiss my girl," he mumbled sleepily.

"Shh," talking was exhausting him. Sharon rubbed his shoulder. "Rest," she insisted.

"Yeah," Provenza agreed. "You've looked better." He shook his head. "I'll get out of here. Behave," he ordered of his partner. "I'll let everyone else know," he told the Captain. "Send more of them home to rest now that he's awake."

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Sharon smiled at him. "It wouldn't hurt if you did the same."

He arched a brow at her. "I'll go when you go."

The two stared at one another for a moment and finally Sharon nodded. "Fair enough." Andy was important to both of them, and she appreciated that he felt compelled to look out for her in his partner's absence.

As the Lieutenant left, the nurse returned with the ice-chips. Sharon accepted them and eased a hip onto the edge of the bed. She leaned close to him and dropped a light, almost chaste kiss on his dry lips. "Here," she murmured and held the spoon against his lips.

His eyes opened although they were heavy, unfocussed. His fingers moved again, stroked against the side of her hip. He watched her until keeping his eyes open was simply beyond his control. He let them close and sighed, pain and exhaustion. "Don't leave," he mumbled.

"I won't." She leaned down and kissed him again. She put the ice-chips aside. Relief swept through her. She shuddered with it. Tears filled her eyes, she blinked rapidly and continued to sit beside him. Her hand stroked his arm, and she waited until his breathing evened out. Simply asleep now, she shifted carefully and stretched out beside him, much as she had the previous evening. Her lips found his shoulder and she curled against his side, far more relaxed now in her silent vigil.

When he woke again, it was to a dull throbbing at his center. Andy groaned quietly and forced his eyes open. Memories returned in a rush, just as they had the last time. "Hell," he muttered.

"Shh." Nicole moved closer to the bed. She had come in a while before, after making her calls, and found both of them asleep. "Don't wake her," she murmured. "I know the nurse will make her move when she comes back, but, let's wait until then."

Andy glanced at beside him, found the source of warmth that was radiating from that side. Sharon was asleep against him. He nodded and flexed his hand, fingers sliding along her leg to reassure himself that she was real, and that she was unharmed. Yes, she was certainly solid. Andy sighed quietly, then ached at the action. He winced and closed his eyes again. His jaw clenched and he took shallow breaths until it passed. Or at least, until he thought he could handle it. When his eyes opened the second time, his daughter was looking concerned. "S'okay," he mumbled quietly.

Nicole frowned. "Dad, if you're hurting, I can go ahead and get—"

"No." He attempted a smile, but managed a grimace. "It'll pass."

She was tempted to get the nurse anyway, but Nicole leaned back in her chair instead. "You scared us," she said quietly. "Do me a favor, no more bullets, okay?"

"Okay by me," he managed to rasp.

"How much do you remember," She asked. Nicole had gotten only a brief accounting from his fellow officers. She was a little surprised that he hadn't asked.

Andy opened his eyes again and slanted a look the woman sleeping beside him. "Everything." For one horrified moment he was reliving the event, only it was not himself the bullets were ripping through, but her small form. Andy drew a ragged breath. He closed his eyes and tried to force the images away. "Shooter?" He asked instead. That part was unclear.

"Uh…" Nicole winced. "He's dead. Sharon shot him." She sighed quietly. "I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to bring all that up."

"No," he forced his eyes back open. They felt so heavy again. "It's okay." He managed to get them to focus on his daughter. "Do me a favor," he slurred.

Her brows drew together, but Nicole smiled. "What is it?"

"Keep the nurse out." He smirked and leaned his head toward his lover as his eyes closed again. "Gonna nap."

Nicole chuckled quietly. "You got it." She doubted it would work that way, but she would do her best to keep them from being disturbed. "Rest dad, it's okay."

"Is now," he mumbled. He inhaled and could smell her shampoo, along with fading traces of her perfume. He hurt like hell all over but in that moment, couldn't be bothered to care. Instead, he slid back toward sleep, just happy that she was in one piece beside him. Right where she belonged.


	9. Chapter 9

Return to Me

by Kadi

Rated T

Disclaimer: If only they were mine… Sadly, they are not. I'm only borrowing them for a time, I promise to return them!

**Chapter 9 - Looking Forward **

Sleeping in his own bed was something that Andy Flynn would never take for granted again. He sighed gratefully as he sank into the familiar mattress. After two weeks spent in a hospital bed, his back was more than happy to have his own bed beneath him. He was almost tempted to wiggle in contentment, except that he didn't wiggle, and he still hurt like a son of a bitch. Staples were out, but the incisions still ached. It was the deeper injuries that throbbed, however. Andy settled back on his pillows and tucked an arm behind his head. His eyes circled the room, a smile tugged at his lips. He watched Sharon, unpacking his bag and sorting everything between what went into the laundry and what got put away. "Leave it," he rumbled.

She glanced up at him, smiled when he crooked the fingers of his other hand toward her. Sharon let the bag drop into the chair near the closet and tossed the shirt in her hand toward the hamper in the corner. She walked toward the bed and crawled carefully toward him. "Yes," she said at length, brows lifting.

"Get over here." He held out his arm and when she curled against him, he closed it around her. They both sighed. A hospital bed just didn't allow one to hold his girl the way he liked. Neither did snippy nurses. He made a mental note to write a complaint. He knew what he needed to feel better. It was curling her leg around his and laying her head against his shoulder.

Sharon hummed quietly and settled against him. "Better?" She was certainly more at ease now that he was home. It had been a very long two weeks. The first half was the most difficult. Andy had taken a turn for the worst after initially waking, but they realized there was a bleeder that hadn't been caught the first time, it wasn't a mistake. His injuries were substantial. After a second surgery he improved steadily. He was released from the ICU after a week. Finally, after a second week in the hospital, he was home. She finally felt as though _she_ could rest now.

It became necessary, after his second surgery, for the team to return to work. They couldn't linger indefinitely. They had been given as much leeway as the department could allow. Due to her OIS, Sharon had remained on mandatory leave a few more days, at least until she spoke to Behavioral Health. She did that after Andy was moved out of ICU. Only then did she feel confident enough on leaving him for prolonged periods. Between his children and Rusty she made sure that he was never alone. There was always someone at the hospital with him during the day, and she spent the evenings with him. She returned to her condo only to shower and dress for each new day.

Jack had returned, only once during Andy's hospital stay. He came to check on _her_. Afterward, when it was apparent that he was no longer needed… he left. He wasn't going to contest the divorce. That chapter of her life was finally over, and it was only a matter of official paperwork. She was allowing Gavin to handle all of it now. There were other more pressing matters on her mind.

"Yeah," Andy rumbled in response. "Much better." His hand moved into her hair. "Damned nurses."

Sharon chuckled quietly. "You know," she drawled. "In their defense, those beds really aren't made for two."

"What do they know?" His hand moved down to her neck. He smirked when she shivered. Yeah, he still had it. "If I want a hot broad in my bed, who are they to throw a fit about it? Jealous hussies."

"Somehow," Sharon lifted her head to look at him. Her eyes were shining with amusement and affection at his antics. "I don't think it was jealousy." Her brows lifted. "_Hot broad_?"

"You know what I mean." He smirked at her. "Let's not argue terms of endearment. You didn't like baby, I get hot broad."

Sharon rolled her eyes at him and lay her head back against his chest. "You're definitely feeling better," she observed.

"What can I say? I like being home." He went back to playing with the ends of her hair. "I like coming home and having you here," he said more quietly.

"Hm." Her lips curved, she lifted her head again and propped it in her hand. "Do you?"

"You know I do." He wrapped silken strands of her hair around his fingers. "It's just so convenient. My stuff is here. You're here. I like convenient," he grinned.

"Ah," her eyes sparkled. "I see. Well, we wouldn't want to inconvenience you, would we?"

"No," he drawled. "I'm an injured man you know."

"Yes, I do." Her hand lay against his chest, she stroked gently in lazy circles. "I like you being home too," she said softly. "I thought I was going to lose you."

"Nah." He pulled her back down against him, held her close. "Take a lot more than that. Like I said," he referenced the note which had accompanied the necklace she still wore. "I'm not going anywhere. Not without you, I'm in this."

She hummed quietly and turned her face into his neck. "I'm not ready yet," she whispered. "You were right about that." Her lips were soft against his skin. "But I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I love you."

"I know," his eyes closed. He would take whatever she could give him. It was enough. His hand stroked down her back. "Sharon, I'll take you how I can get you."

Her head lifted and she flashed a watery smile at him. "Yes." She touched his cheek, just the faintest caress of her fingertips. "One day," she promised. "Probably sooner than we think. Until then… how about a promise of my own?"

His brows drew together. "What did you have in mind?" His heart thumped in his chest. Knowing that she was thinking about it, that she was looking that far ahead, it made his soul sing. "Sharon, I don't need—"

She placed her fingers against his lips. "I know." She leaned down, replaced her fingers with her lips. "I took for granted that loving you was enough. I never considered that there might be a day when you wouldn't be beside me, by your own choice or not. I was complacent. Maybe even a little arrogant. I've gotten very used to getting what I want. You've been patient, waiting when I expected it. You've never pushed. You were always just there." Sharon inhaled, her voice hitched. "I took _you_ for granted," she admitted painfully.

"Sharon…" He cupped her cheek. He caught a drop of moisture as it left the corner of her eye, swept it away. "Maybe there was a little of that on both sides. I could have been a little more vocal about what I wanted from you." Andy shrugged. "It didn't matter. Not to me. It was more important to me to see if it worked, you know, being in an actual relationship with another adult."

"Yes," she smiled at that. "I know the feeling." Her head tilted and she sighed. "Still, I can recognize my faults where they lay. I don't want to be without you, but I'm not ready for a more solid commitment. Not yet." She drew a breath, let it out slowly. "But," she said quickly, before he could interrupt her again. "Maybe you wouldn't mind having me around a little more? Because _that_ I can do."

His eyes narrowed as he studied her. He considered all that she might mean by that. They already split their time between both places. Andy swept her hair back from her face. "I think I might be able to deal with that, if you're talking about what I think you are…"

"I'm a packaged deal," she reminded him. "You get two for the price of one, and he can be a handful."

"You don't say," Andy drawled. "You know, I already had a pretty good idea that getting you meant inheriting a teenager too. Good thing I don't mind the kid, huh?" His thumb traced her bottom lip. "So, tell me something," he rumbled. "Wanna move in?"

She nodded quietly. "That I can give you," she murmured. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here."

"Always." He drew her toward him, let his lips tease hers open.

"Always," she breathed into his mouth.

She couldn't give him everything, not yet. It was still too soon. But he had come back to her, and she could promise him the chance. The future was unwritten. Together they would live in the present.

_~FIN_


End file.
